Aug 19 2006
Boy, there’s nothing more boring, or sad, than sitting alone at a hotel bar drinking beer. Even worse is when you’re talking to yourself like right now out loud.
What do you do? I don’t know. Never been in this situation before. What are those other stiffs doing? Hmmn. Staring at their beer. Watching baseball on TV. Turning soggy bar napkins into origami that resembles chicken dumplings. I can do that.
(Ten minutes later and the napkin looks like porridge.)
OK, now what. I’ll look around some more. Lots of interesting people that I could care less about. Is it me, or am I by far the best looking person in this room? Look at me in that mirror. I’m gorgeous! Look at me. Handsome, good lookin’ hair, sharp dresser, and oh crap! is that spinach in my teeth? Jeez, that mirror’s 20 yards away and I can still see it
(Ten minutes later and I’ve jury-rigged a toothpick out of a splinter in the bar and discreetly removed the spinach while pretending I was tying my shoe.)