If I were a rich man … with no passion for fishing

I guess “horrified” isn’t the right word, but I would definitely say “dumbfounded” comes close to capturing it. It was an article in the Wall Street Journal titled, “How the Rich Fish.” Its subhead read, “In their quest for the best fishing, avid anglers are spending $200,000 to $750,000 to create and stock personal streams with computer-controlled conditions.”

Yes, my friends, there is no end to the excess!

First off, if you’re that rich, you can certainly afford to get some robots to do the fishing for you, and even dress them up in funny party hats and animal costumes. But you sure don’t need to go wading into the water yourself. Go eat ice cream instead.

The story spotlighted a retired energy executive who had created 2 acres of man-made streams and ponds at his Wyoming home. He said his two passions in life were “playing golf and fly fishing.”

Second off, if you have enough money to dig computer-controlled fish ponds, you can certainly afford to go out and buy yourself better passions!

You know, something more exotic, interesting and worthwhile. Something so that when your robots are cooking up all the fish they caught, you can tell stories about how you like to ice skate on Everest or floss the teeth of wild gingivitis-ridden alligators. Your dinner guests will “ooh” and “ahhh.

There are endless things you could do instead. Maybe invent a way to beat Murphy’s Law. You know, how anything that can go wrong, will go wrong … right before you leave to go out of town.

Murphy’s Law is why a valve stem on my tire acted up and started leaking air hours before I was set to go on a trip. HOURS, people! Are you kidding me!?! Could have done it a week ago. Could have done it two days ago. But, no, it had to wait right until I was packing up to leave for the airport.

Thanks, universe!

So, why don’t the super rich put some money into figuring out why this always happens? Because it’s not just me. EVERYBODY has these fun little experiences at the most inopportune times. There has to be some reason. There has to be some way to head it off. Invest some money into figuring out how to crack Murphy’s Law, people!

I can think of so many things that would be a better use of “passion.” Like perfecting the art of beef jerky making. Maybe opening a beef jerky lab or think tank. Or trying to make dogs less itchy. And smell better. Or figure out if there is actual jasmine in jasmine rice.

Shoot, instead of going fishing themselves, they could send a 1,000 kids fishing. Or help them in school. Or have them work on that beef jerky thing.

ANYTHING, but a fancy fish pond with a fake, computer-controlled stream. Unless, of course, it comes with those fishing robots in the party hats. Then, I’m thinking it might make more sense.

Also published on Medium.

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