Slipped disks and surviving elementary school playgrounds

My daughter was telling me about the games she plays in first grade gym class. Let’s see. There was one called Tiger Tails. What I understand is someone runs around and steals tiger tails from other kids. “Does anyone get horribly maimed like a real tiger attack!?!” I asked expectantly. It was typical dinner table conversation with me. “Um, no,” she said. Then she went on with her story.

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Elementary school field trips: The adulthood reminder

Nothing reminds you you’re an adult like hanging out with a bunch of kids. On a field trip. In a school bus. It’s chaotic chatter — like birds in the trees — until one child starts humming Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. Why Beethoven’s Ninth? And then they all start to join in, one after another. Only … wait a minute … no, they’re not humming. They’re moo-ing. They are all moo-ing like cows! Beethoven! All of them now. Every last one. The bus is filled with the sound of bovines. And I just have to smile. Nothing reminds you you’re an adult like hanging out with a bunch of kids.

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Chubby pencils, freshmen parents and going to kindergarten

I don’t know what was worse this week … the threat of a category 3 hurricane remodeling the house … or my daughter going off to kindergarten. Which is exactly what she’s doing this week. Just like all the other little ones across the county. Done with pre-school, and now graduated into the big leagues. Elementary school. ELEMENTARY school. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!

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