\u201cCould still be a week, a minute, three days \u2026\u201d said the text from my brother. \u201cThe imprecision of this process is a hoot.\u201d<\/p>\n
Amen!<\/p>\n
Children. Especially the non-born kind. They have no respect for time. Due dates. Promptness. That people might have lives and need to get on with them.<\/p>\n
Masters of imprecise processes. Boy, if that doesn\u2019t sum it up!<\/p>\n
My brother and sister-in-law are due pretty soon. Any day. It\u2019s their first child, and as we all know, it can be an agonizing wait when you\u2019re down to the final days. Uncomfortable. Anxious. Excited. Nervous. Wondering why in the world you thought this was a good idea. How you are ever going to use all the diapers stacked up in the baby\u2019s room. What horrors will await you as you change those diapers!<\/p>\n
The more you wait, the worse it gets.<\/p>\n
I mean, it\u2019s great practice, right? A taste of the patience you\u2019ll need throughout parenthood: Waiting for teeth to get brushed. Waiting for shoes to be put on. Waiting for them to remember you told them 18 times to brush their teeth and put their shoes on. It\u2019s a wonder we get anywhere or do anything.
\n
\nShoot, with children it\u2019s a wonder they ever get born.<\/p>\n
As I wait on my little nephew, I\u2019ve found myself growing nostalgic, thinking back to my own daughter\u2019s birth. It was almost 8 years ago. The due date was Dec. 23. In case you didn\u2019t notice, that\u2019s two days before Christmas. And as she has exhibited most of her life, she was in no hurry to get anywhere fast.<\/p>\n
We worried she would come on the holiday, and we had visions of Christmas in a deserted hospital. Do they staff maternity wards on Christmas? Or do they give you a do-it-yourself birthing kit with cartoon pictures for instructions?<\/p>\n
We didn\u2019t know, but we certainly didn\u2019t want to find out.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot on Christmas!\u201d we told the little peanut. \u201cAnything but Christmas. Let Jesus have his holiday!\u201d<\/p>\n
We read that walking was good when you needed to move the process along. Trampolines were recommended, but my wife thought that was a little extreme. So on Dec. 23 \u2014 the due date \u2014 we went to the Alligator Farm. My wife wore overalls, and the poor straps strained just to hold her enormous, child-filled belly.<\/p>\n
It was cold and drizzling, and we walked the exhibits over and over again. She stomped and hopped as we walked. We had a picture taken with a baby alligator.<\/p>\n
People must have thought we were crazy. These two weird, soon-to-be parents standing shivering in front of a Cuban crocodile enclosure, pleading with a suspender-supported bump: \u201cThese are what your relatives in Cuba must have wrestled with. Don\u2019t you want to see?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought the police would show up and drag us off to the psych ward.<\/p>\n
But still she didn\u2019t come.<\/p>\n
I pictured my daughter in rock climbing gear, clinging on for dear life through all the jostling and jumping. The more the earth rumbled, the tighter she held on.<\/p>\n
Hey, who can blame her? It\u2019s nice and warm inside. There is 24-hour food service. Outside there are literally man-eating lizards. Maybe it wasn\u2019t the most ideal of locations.<\/p>\n
My wife\u2019s water broke on Christmas morning. We were opening up presents and yelling at the dog to stop eating wrapping paper.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow you want to do this?!?\u201d I remember saying.<\/p>\n
But she didn\u2019t. She still hung on for another 28 hours, and wouldn\u2019t see daylight until Dec. 26. Another thing about kids: They never finish what they\u2019ve started.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been reliving the first moment I saw her. This whole experience with my brother has made it crystal clear again. How there is nothing more amazing than that first glimpse you get of your child. Holding her in your arms. Looking into her eyes. Never wanting to let go. That sense that she is an utter stranger, yet someone you have known for a very long time. That calmness that washes over you.<\/p>\n
Knowing that the hard part \u2014 the imprecision of the process \u2014 is finally over. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cCould still be a week, a minute, three days \u2026\u201d said the text from my brother. \u201cThe imprecision of this process is a hoot.\u201d Amen! Children. Especially the non-born kind. They have no respect for time. Due dates. Promptness. That people might have lives and need to get on with them. Masters of imprecise processes. Boy, if that doesn\u2019t sum it up! My brother and sister-in-law are due pretty soon. Any day. It\u2019s their first child, and as we all know, it can be an agonizing wait when you\u2019re down to the final days. Uncomfortable. Anxious. Excited. Nervous. Wondering why in the world you thought this was a good idea. How you are ever going to use all the diapers stacked up in the baby\u2019s room. What horrors will await you as you change those diapers! The more you wait, the worse it gets. I mean, it\u2019s great practice, right? A taste of the patience you\u2019ll need throughout parenthood: Waiting for teeth to get brushed. Waiting for shoes to be put on. Waiting for them to remember you told them 18 times to brush their teeth and put their shoes on. It\u2019s a wonder we get anywhere or do anything.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[436,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2013-nutshells","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1052"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1058,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052\/revisions\/1058"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}