I guess there\u2019s still time. You know, to make some resolutions I should have made. The big ones. The serious ones. The ones that didn\u2019t make the cut. Because I resolved to do little things instead. Like drink more carrot smoothies or not blame my daughter for the cookie crumbs I left on the kitchen counter. (In my defense, it\u2019s a 50-50 shot they\u2019re hers!) But I go with the easy ones. Don\u2019t you? There\u2019s still time, though. Time to resolve to do the big ones, like these: <\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0Click on fewer \u201cStar Wars: The Force Awakens\u201d blog posts with theories about the movie. I\u2019m a child of \u201cStar Wars,\u201d which means I\u2019ve been totally hooked on the new film. Addicted is more like it. If anything comes up on the computer with \u201cStar Wars\u201d on it \u2014\u00a0\u201cWhat kind of underwear do First Order stormtroopers wear?\u201d \u2014\u00a0I click on it. And suddenly two days of my life are gone and I have a Jed-length beard. I need to realize it will be two years before the next movie and that no one on the Internet can tell me if Rey\u2019s dad is really Chewbacca. No more links! <\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0Stop looking for new house projects. Every time I finish a major job around the house, I commend myself for a bad job done poorly and pledge to never take on another do-it-yourself disaster AGAIN. This pledge lasts all of 13 seconds before I notice some wood rot and think, \u201cHmm, maybe I should tear off the kitchen wall and install a Tie fighter landing pad \u2026\u201d DAMN YOU \u201cSTAR WARS\u201d!!! Anyway, I never make good on my promises to let the house be, or to hire someone. Maybe this can be the year of letting my house fall apart. Or at least pay someone over to display poor carpentry skills and a knack for stepping on nails. <\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0Never go onto the east side of my daughter\u2019s room again. Maybe it\u2019s my dyslexia, but I always seem to forget this one. I go in to tell her goodnight and inevitably travel barefoot into that minefield of scattered toys and assorted sharp objects like a scene from \u201cHome Alone.\u201d As I scream and writhe on the floor, my daughter yells: \u201cDad! I just set up that Playmobil African vet clinic! Now the hyenas have gotten loose and will eat the gazelles!\u201d Stay to the west, big dummy. Stay to the west.<\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0Be more patient. Because I\u2019m not. In fact, I got so frustrated with how long it took to type this sentence that I almost deleted it and went for a nerve-calming donut. Patience is in short supply with me. I\u2019ve never had time for it. It\u2019s a luxury afforded to people with time on their hands. Not me. Or is it? Maybe it\u2019s something I can learn. Like the Force. If I just click on a few more of those \u201cStar Wars\u201d blog posts \u2026 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I guess there\u2019s still time. You know, to make some resolutions I should have made. The big ones. The serious ones. The ones that didn\u2019t make the cut. Because I resolved to do little things instead. Like drink more carrot smoothies or not blame my daughter for the cookie crumbs I left on the kitchen counter. (In my defense, it\u2019s a 50-50 shot they\u2019re hers!) But I go with the easy ones. Don\u2019t you? There\u2019s still time, though. Time to resolve to do the big ones, like these: \u2022\u00a0Click on fewer \u201cStar Wars: The Force Awakens\u201d blog posts with theories about the movie. I\u2019m a child of \u201cStar Wars,\u201d which means I\u2019ve been totally hooked on the new film. Addicted is more like it. If anything comes up on the computer with \u201cStar Wars\u201d on it \u2014\u00a0\u201cWhat kind of underwear do First Order stormtroopers wear?\u201d \u2014\u00a0I click on it. And suddenly two days of my life are gone and I have a Jed-length beard. I need to realize it will be two years before the next movie and that no one on the Internet can tell me if Rey\u2019s dad is really Chewbacca. No more links! \u2022\u00a0Stop looking for new house projects. Every time I finish a major job around the house, I commend myself for a bad job done poorly and pledge to never take on another do-it-yourself disaster AGAIN. This pledge lasts all of 13 seconds before I notice some wood rot and think, \u201cHmm, maybe I should […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[554,556],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2016-nutshells","category-holidays"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1273"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1274,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273\/revisions\/1274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}