Every Memorial Day Weekend two things happen: I remember those who served and sacrificed for our country. It\u2019s the meaning of the holiday. But then I inevitably traipse off to the beach with family in tow and am reminded of what it means to be a Floridian as summer sets in. <\/p>\n
It\u2019s the weekend when we Floridians emerge from our cocoons and rediscover a world filled with sun, sand, waves and incredible tans that make us look like coconut-scented gods. <\/p>\n
And it\u2019s all thanks to the time-honored tricks of the trade we\u2019ve learned from living in a tropical paradise. As I sat on the beach this past weekend, I pondered the rules we know as residents of this sun-drenched state. \t<\/p>\n
\u2022 Rule #1 – Ice cream always dies a tragic death at the beach. On average, it only takes 3 seconds to wilt a Rocket Pop. Which is why the only time to eat it is at 9:30 in the morning. That\u2019s what the smart Floridians do. It\u2019s the only way to protect your expensive investment. \u201cDad, can I have an ice cream?\u201d my daughter asked. \u201cIt\u2019s 10 a.m.!\u201d I replied. \u201cWhy\u2019d you wait so long? You shouldn\u2019t have wasted time brushing your teeth this morning.\u201d
\n<\/p>\n
\u2022 Rule #2 \u2013 You can save money on sunscreen by standing down wind from an out-of-state family fumbling and struggling to apply the aerosol spray to their squirming kids. Just slowly rotate as the cloud of wasted sunscreen wafts by and you will end up with more protection than they will. <\/p>\n
\u2022 Rule #3 \u2013 You always wear two bottoms in the water. Because everyone knows a big wave will take the first pair right off. Nobody wants to be left mooning the world and frantically searching for an article of clothing while screaming, \u201cA shark ate my shorts! A shark ate my shorts!!\u201d Floridians will just chuckle and say, \u201cAmateurs!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2022 Rule #4 \u2013 Plastic shovels for beach digging and castle building are for neophytes. A Floridian brings a backhoe. <\/p>\n
\u2022 Rule #5 \u2013 The rule of water. Yes, on scorching hot days it is important to drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated and ward off hallucinations that make you think the guy sunbathing next to you is a giant hairy beach squirrel. But on the flipside, Floridians know that drinking water also means excruciatingly long treks to the bathroom. We\u2019ll take dehydration and beach squirrels over that any day. <\/p>\n
\u2022 Rule #6 \u2013 It is essential \u2014 nay, CRITICAL \u2014 to get to the beach early to find parking and beat the rush. Your family will know this, and they will agree to it. They just won\u2019t be able to meet their end of the bargain. A true Floridian will be OK with this. Because he will recognize it\u2019s 9:30 and TIME FOR ICE CREAM!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Every Memorial Day Weekend two things happen: I remember those who served and sacrificed for our country. It\u2019s the meaning of the holiday. But then I inevitably traipse off to the beach with family in tow and am reminded of what it means to be a Floridian as summer sets in. It\u2019s the weekend when we Floridians emerge from our cocoons and rediscover a world filled with sun, sand, waves and incredible tans that make us look like coconut-scented gods. And it\u2019s all thanks to the time-honored tricks of the trade we\u2019ve learned from living in a tropical paradise. As I sat on the beach this past weekend, I pondered the rules we know as residents of this sun-drenched state. \u2022 Rule #1 – Ice cream always dies a tragic death at the beach. On average, it only takes 3 seconds to wilt a Rocket Pop. Which is why the only time to eat it is at 9:30 in the morning. That\u2019s what the smart Floridians do. It\u2019s the only way to protect your expensive investment. \u201cDad, can I have an ice cream?\u201d my daughter asked. \u201cIt\u2019s 10 a.m.!\u201d I replied. \u201cWhy\u2019d you wait so long? You shouldn\u2019t have wasted time brushing your teeth this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[554,561,558,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2016-nutshells","category-family","category-florida","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1436"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1437,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1436\/revisions\/1437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}