\u201cNow we return you to live coverage of the Florida Summer Heat Games where native Floridians prove their mettle in a series of insane outdoor events testing their courage, their stamina and their ability to overcome sweltering temperatures and oppressive humidity. For these competitors, household projects take on epic proportions in weather that could cook a rack of ribs quicker than you can say \u2018BBQ.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cToday we have competitor Brian Thompson, who is tackling a small wood-working project that he SHOULD have done in the cool temperatures of April. But that\u2019s the beauty of the Games, Bob. Dumb people doing dumb things in the kind of heat that will buckle a bridge.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re so right, Jay. And Brian has his work cut out for him, doesn\u2019t he?\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cHe sure does. He already passed the Sweat Stain Rorschach T-shirt Test when he went inside for a drink of water and his daughter pointed and laughed at what she said was the shape of a three-legged elephant in a party hat. I personally saw a lion-tailed macaque throwing up, but it\u2019s hard to make everything out in this heat haze.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right, Jay. Brian has been working on a project that should have taken him all of three minutes, but he\u2019s managed to turn it into a day-long affair thanks to his incompetence and this insufferable heat. Now, he did survive the morning\u2019s Mosquito Mowdown, when 15,000 blood-sucking skeeters descended on him, tapped his jugular and drew 12 pints. He turned white as a ghost and started hallucinating, but after nearly cutting off a finger in the power saw, he regained his composure and pushed on. It was a sight to see, and boy did we hear some salty language!\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI tell you, Jay, I was really worried when he decided to dig around in that stack of paint cans. He has 42,000 rusting cans stacked 18 feet high in that shed, and he went rummaging in the middle of it to find a gallon of yellow for his wife. When that thing wobbled and came down on his head, I thought he was a goner for sure! But he has shaken it off and come back strong.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cAnd good thing, too, Bob, because next up is the Weed-and-Wilt. This is a must-see event! Competitors notice weeds in their front yards and impulsively decide to pull them up right then and there, all under the hottest heat of the day! We put a pan of bacon out to check the temperature and the whole thing caught fire and melted. It\u2019s going to take all of his strength to pull this one off.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cJay, he\u2019s stumbling a bit and holding an insightful conversation with thin air, but he\u2019s got a good anger face going and seems totally focused for someone whose body is likely to go into heat-induced cardiac arrest. So, I think his odds are about 50-50.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll find out right after this commercial break \u2026\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cNow we return you to live coverage of the Florida Summer Heat Games where native Floridians prove their mettle in a series of insane outdoor events testing their courage, their stamina and their ability to overcome sweltering temperatures and oppressive humidity. For these competitors, household projects take on epic proportions in weather that could cook a rack of ribs quicker than you can say \u2018BBQ.\u2019\u201d \u201cToday we have competitor Brian Thompson, who is tackling a small wood-working project that he SHOULD have done in the cool temperatures of April. But that\u2019s the beauty of the Games, Bob. Dumb people doing dumb things in the kind of heat that will buckle a bridge.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re so right, Jay. And Brian has his work cut out for him, doesn\u2019t he?\u201d \u201cHe sure does. He already passed the Sweat Stain Rorschach T-shirt Test when he went inside for a drink of water and his daughter pointed and laughed at what she said was the shape of a three-legged elephant in a party hat. I personally saw a lion-tailed macaque throwing up, but it\u2019s hard to make everything out in this heat haze.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s right, Jay. Brian has been working on a project that should have taken him all of three minutes, but he\u2019s managed to turn it into a day-long affair thanks to his incompetence and this insufferable heat. Now, he did survive the morning\u2019s Mosquito Mowdown, when 15,000 blood-sucking skeeters descended on him, tapped his jugular and drew 12 pints. He turned white […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[571,558,563],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2017-nutshells","category-florida","category-houses"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1618"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1619,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618\/revisions\/1619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1618"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1618"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1618"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}