So, here\u2019s the thing: I\u2019m supposed to sit down, right now, and write this thing. This column. Which is usually fun, and hopefully funny. Usually, that\u2019s the goal when I sit down to write.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the thing: It\u2019s Tuesday night. And I\u2019m sitting down, and I\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cWho cares? This thing comes out Sunday! Hurricane Irma may be here by Sunday. St. Augustine may be up to its eyeballs in water \u2026 again. And I\u2019m supposed to sit down and write a COLUMN?!?\u201d<\/p>\n
And the phone keeps ringing. Mostly it\u2019s my mother. She\u2019s worried about where she\u2019s going to go in the storm if we have to evacuate.
\nActually, she wasn\u2019t worried. Not until I made her worried. Because she had a hotel room booked by the interstate. They would take her dog. Maybe even her two cats, if she snuck them in with a picnic basket. She had it all thought out, and she was pretty proud.<\/p>\n
Then she called me. I had to \u2014 no pun intended \u2014 rain on her parade.<\/p>\n
\u201cTuesday!?!\u201d I said. \u201cYou booked your rooms for Tuesday? The storm will be here already!\u201d<\/p>\n
How did I know this? I don\u2019t! I didn\u2019t know anything. Because I\u2019m not a meteorologist. I\u2019m just a guy who is supposed to be sitting down to write a column. But instead I\u2019ve been staring at hurricane forecast models on the Internet. Spaghetti models by fancy computers that may or may not have anything to do with Italian food. I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
What I do know is that I look at these things and then claim to see the future. That Irma will jog this way, then swing back that way, and all RIGHT BEFORE she checks into her room.<\/p>\n
Maybe it won\u2019t. I don\u2019t know. Because I\u2019m just a schmo with a deadline.<\/p>\n
So, she goes to bed nervous and I sit back down to write. Only, that doesn\u2019t last long. Because there\u2019s a guy on TV talking about more spaghetti models. And it sounds like this guy really DOES know what he\u2019s talking about. And he might know if it\u2019s coming before Monday, like on Sunday, which is \u2026 when this column comes out!<\/p>\n
Yikes. Back on it. Back to typing. Only, it\u2019s impossible to keep my mind on it. Because now I\u2019m thinking about the morning and how I want to run to Publix for water. Because they were out of water, just like everyone when my wife went shopping.<\/p>\n
But one of the workers said \u2014 and this is good intel! \u2014 there\u2019s a truck coming in the morning. Don\u2019t you love it? A truck! Coming in the morning! Get there early! It\u2019s sounds like some kind of spy novel. And I\u2019m thinking about that. And how this is what living in Florida has come to: Juicy details about bottled water shipments!<\/p>\n
Got to be there when it opens. Got to check those spaghetti models. And for crying out loud, got to sit down and write this column \u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, here\u2019s the thing: I\u2019m supposed to sit down, right now, and write this thing. This column. Which is usually fun, and hopefully funny. Usually, that\u2019s the goal when I sit down to write. But here\u2019s the thing: It\u2019s Tuesday night. And I\u2019m sitting down, and I\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cWho cares? This thing comes out Sunday! Hurricane Irma may be here by Sunday. St. Augustine may be up to its eyeballs in water \u2026 again. And I\u2019m supposed to sit down and write a COLUMN?!?\u201d And the phone keeps ringing. Mostly it\u2019s my mother. She\u2019s worried about where she\u2019s going to go in the storm if we have to evacuate. Actually, she wasn\u2019t worried. Not until I made her worried. Because she had a hotel room booked by the interstate. They would take her dog. Maybe even her two cats, if she snuck them in with a picnic basket. She had it all thought out, and she was pretty proud. Then she called me. I had to \u2014 no pun intended \u2014 rain on her parade. \u201cTuesday!?!\u201d I said. \u201cYou booked your rooms for Tuesday? The storm will be here already!\u201d How did I know this? I don\u2019t! I didn\u2019t know anything. Because I\u2019m not a meteorologist. I\u2019m just a guy who is supposed to be sitting down to write a column. But instead I\u2019ve been staring at hurricane forecast models on the Internet. Spaghetti models by fancy computers that may or may not have anything to do with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[571,558,569],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2017-nutshells","category-florida","category-weather"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1640"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1771,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640\/revisions\/1771"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}