We are such strange beings, us parental units. Things we would never have done in our former lives \u2014 that we would have turned up our noses and snorted at \u2014 we now do freely. Things that seem so outlandish, ridiculous, and frankly, disgusting.<\/p>\n
Take for instance the other day at pre-school as we dropped my two-year-old daughter off. I was in the passenger seat of the car giving her a kiss goodbye. My wife was carrying her and I noticed a little something in the little girl\u2019s nostril. It was a \u201cUNO\u201d \u2014 an unidentified nasal object. I couldn\u2019t let her go into school like that, and after failing myself to extract it, my wife \u2014 the old pro \u2014 went in for the kill, sans tissue. (We were already late and unprepared for duty such as this.)<\/p>\n
\u201cNow what do I do with it?\u201d she asked, stumped.<\/p>\n
Then, even shocking myself, I said, \u201cHere, give it to me. I\u2019ll figure something out.\u201d<\/p>\n
My wife thanked me and trudged off with child, leaving me with the UNO.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow what do I do with it?\u201d I thought.<\/p>\n
But that\u2019s the life of a parent. Never in my wildest imagination \u2014 not in some crazed hallucinatory delirium brought on by spoiled fruit or bad fish \u2014 could I ever have pictured this: me sitting in a car staring at a \u201cboogie\u201d on the end of my finger. I couldn\u2019t even have ever imagined myself being so selfless, so thoughtful, and shoot, so brave!<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take a toddler boogie for you, honey,\u201d is not the kind of line you would have heard from Bogart. I\u2019m still shocked it came from me.<\/p>\n
But there I was, and serious. That\u2019s love. That\u2019s sacrifice. That\u2019s being a parent.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s kind of what makes it fun. The things that you will do for one another.<\/p>\n
My dad left a message on my answering machine one day. He was out with my 14-year-old sister shopping for fishnet stockings that she needed for a part in a high school play.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet ready, Brian,\u201d he warned over the machine. \u201cIt\u2019s coming. This is your future!\u201d<\/p>\n
My goodness, I can\u2019t even imagine right now. I\u2019m still amazed that when my little girl comes to me with a hangnail and tells me it hurts, I can find a pair of fingernail clippers, sit her on the sofa and actually snip it off without taking part of her finger.<\/p>\n
\u201cBetter?\u201d I asked. Remarkably, she said \u201cyes.\u201d And no stitches required.<\/p>\n
What I\u2019m finding is that parents have to snap into action, no matter what the situation. Be it dangerous or mundane, disgusting or difficult, we hop to it and save the day. We act where others might shrink away or toss up their hands and say, \u201cmy contract says nothing about that.\u201d<\/p>\n
As I write this, I hear in the background sounds of my wife giving my daughter a bath in the tub. Through the sound of running water I make out a toddler\u2019s whining followed by, \u201cDon\u2019t worry. It\u2019s OK. We\u2019ll take care of it. It\u2019s just some poopies on your hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
What \u2026 when \u2026 how \u2026 how did it come to this?<\/p>\n
But there it is. This is parenthood. Only a mother, and a good one at that, could possibly tackle such a circumstance in a graceful and matter-of-fact way.<\/p>\n
Nothing surprises me anymore. Nothing is too over-the-top or unbelievable. The unexpected and extraordinary are suddenly commonplace.<\/p>\n
If my wife called in from the other room to say, \u201cHon, it appears our child has grown wings and is throwing-up fire,\u201d I would call back in my calmest voice, \u201cBe right there. I told you this might happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
What strange beings we are, us parents. Nothing fazes us. Nothing is too out of the ordinary. Nothing is too disgusting that we can\u2019t tackle. And we\u2019ll always find someplace to put a stray UNO.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We are such strange beings, us parental units. Things we would never have done in our former lives \u2014 that we would have turned up our noses and snorted at \u2014 we now do freely. Things that seem so outlandish, ridiculous, and frankly, disgusting. Take for instance the other day at pre-school as we dropped my two-year-old daughter off. I was in the passenger seat of the car giving her a kiss goodbye. My wife was carrying her and I noticed a little something in the little girl\u2019s nostril. It was a \u201cUNO\u201d \u2014 an unidentified nasal object. I couldn\u2019t let her go into school like that, and after failing myself to extract it, my wife \u2014 the old pro \u2014 went in for the kill, sans tissue. (We were already late and unprepared for duty such as this.) \u201cNow what do I do with it?\u201d she asked, stumped. Then, even shocking myself, I said, \u201cHere, give it to me. I\u2019ll figure something out.\u201d My wife thanked me and trudged off with child, leaving me with the UNO. \u201cNow what do I do with it?\u201d I thought. But that\u2019s the life of a parent. Never in my wildest imagination \u2014 not in some crazed hallucinatory delirium brought on by spoiled fruit or bad fish \u2014 could I ever have pictured this: me sitting in a car staring at a \u201cboogie\u201d on the end of my finger. I couldn\u2019t even have ever imagined myself being so selfless, so thoughtful, and shoot, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2-2-2-2-2-2","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=176"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}