\u201cBri-ANNE!!!\u201d <\/p>\n
It should be known that the way my mother says my name sounds like she\u2019s calling me a girl. And she starts out every phone call like this. <\/p>\n
\u201cBri-Anne!!! Are you coming over Sunday with Amelie to see the rocket launch? Your brother and Striker are coming over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho is this?\u201d I like to ask into the phone, just to rile her up. <\/p>\n
\u201cBri-ANNNNNE!!! Sheesh. Are you coming or not?\u201d<\/p>\n
To the meat of it: My brother\u2019s son just turned 5. His name is Striker. For his birthday, my mom got him a rocket. It was from the Smithsonian. It had to be a good one \u2013 and educational \u2013 because, well, \u201c\u2026 it was from the Smithsonian!\u201d My mother emphasized this about 95 times at his party. As if there is some genius museum developer actually IN the Smithsonian building all of these toy rockets that they sell to people like my mother.
\n<\/p>\n
\u201cIt goes up 50 feet,\u201d my mother said. \u201cIt\u2019s powered by baking soda and vinegar. We\u2019re going to the Special Events Field to launch it because I don\u2019t want to hit any dogs. Do you think it would hurt a dog?!?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUP TO 50 feet!\u201d my brother corrected her. \u201cIt says right here on the box, \u2018up to 50 feet.\u2019 It probably only goes up like 6.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNOOOO!!!!\u201d my mother scolded him, as if blasphemy had just been uttered. \u201cIt\u2019s made by the Smithsonian. They wouldn\u2019t claim something like that if it wasn\u2019t scientifically accurate. I should know \u2026 I read their magazine!\u201d <\/p>\n
In her mind, this was the same kind of rocket SpaceX was using to launch military payloads into orbit, all powered by baking soda and vinegar. This one had fabric wings, and a plastic fin that kept falling off. <\/p>\n
\u201cOh, we have got to see this,\u201d my daughter told me at the party. She has an eye for spotting spectacles worth seeing. <\/p>\n
Sunday came and three generations gathered at my mother\u2019s house to march over to the field. We had a Smithsonian-issued rocket, a bottle of grocery store-grade vinegar and a half-used box of baking soda, which has likely spent the last 17 years in the back of my mother\u2019s fridge. We found a nice flat spot, chipped off a few chunks of petrified baking soda and readied the contraption. My mother scanned the field for dogs, not wanting to impale one with the rocket\u2019s supersonic speed. <\/p>\n
My brother poured in the vinegar, quickly jammed it onto the soda-filled launcher and dove for cover. But he wasn\u2019t quick enough. The sheer force and velocity was too much for him. He was sprayed head to toe in vinegar and baking soda, and smelled like a bad order of fish and chips. <\/p>\n
The rocket? Well, let\u2019s just say I\u2019ve seen popping popcorn reach greater heights. Thanks to a strong southwesterly breeze, it reached a height of maybe \u2026 6 feet. There wasn\u2019t even enough force to knock the plastic fin off. <\/p>\n
\u201cI CAN\u2019T BELIEVE THIS!!!\u201d my mother wailed. \u201cIt was supposed to go up 50 feet!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, well, at least we didn\u2019t injure any dogs,\u201d I said. But their ears did perk up when she belted out, \u201cBri-ANNNNNE!!!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cBri-ANNE!!!\u201d It should be known that the way my mother says my name sounds like she\u2019s calling me a girl. And she starts out every phone call like this. \u201cBri-Anne!!! Are you coming over Sunday with Amelie to see the rocket launch? Your brother and Striker are coming over.\u201d \u201cWho is this?\u201d I like to ask into the phone, just to rile her up. \u201cBri-ANNNNNE!!! Sheesh. Are you coming or not?\u201d To the meat of it: My brother\u2019s son just turned 5. His name is Striker. For his birthday, my mom got him a rocket. It was from the Smithsonian. It had to be a good one \u2013 and educational \u2013 because, well, \u201c\u2026 it was from the Smithsonian!\u201d My mother emphasized this about 95 times at his party. As if there is some genius museum developer actually IN the Smithsonian building all of these toy rockets that they sell to people like my mother.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[573,561,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1819","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2018-nutshells","category-family","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1819","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1819"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1819\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1820,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1819\/revisions\/1820"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}