Just like all across the country, this past weekend was\nmove-in day at Flagler College. It\u2019s where I work, and also where I graduated\noh-so many moons ago. So with a little bit of nostalgia, and a whole lot of\nmasochism, I like to go back each move-in to help new college freshmen carry\nall their possessions \u2013 which must include numerous granite boulders \u2013 up to\ntheir dorm rooms. You learn quite a few things about the world, and yourself,\nwhen you undertake such physical exertion under the blazing August Florida\nheat. Important things, such as: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 You\u2019re not as strong as you look. Actually, I don\u2019t even\nlook strong. Pretty scrawny, actually. So I don\u2019t know why I try to be a hero\nand carry all the big boxes. I should stick to comforters, or boxes of tissues.\nBut not me! I had to act super-strong and say things like, \u201cShoot, that shoe\nbin weighs more than twice my weight? Pshaw! No problem. Just strap it to my\nback with these ratchet tie-downs and don\u2019t worry when you hear a snapping\nsound. That\u2019s just my spinal cord rupturing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 You will feel such excruciating pain in the muscles on the\ninsides of your elbows for days afterward. It will make you wonder if little\naliens are about to pop out. I don\u2019t know what those muscles are, or why after\ncarrying boxes they hurt so much. But I would surmise by the awful pain that they\nhave never been used before in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 When you spot your old dorm room and see a really nice\nfamily moving their student in, don\u2019t say something along the lines of, \u201cWow,\nyou would not realize all of the crazy things that went on in here. I mean, I\u2019m\nsurprised the Health Department finally de-quarantined it.\u201d No, this is not the\ntime to explain how your roommate had a sock so disgusting that it mutated into\nsome hideous being which could be trained to do tricks. Instead, just soak up\nall those memories \u2026 in silence and then walk away \u2026 with your hand over your\nmouth to filter out any leftover residue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Drink lots of water. And spill lots of it down your front.\nPeople will think you are so exhausted and have sweated so badly that they will\npull you off your shift and take you straight to Health Services. There you\u2019ll\nprobably get a cookie, a cold drink and maybe even a magazine to read until the\nambulance arrives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 When a basketball player says, \u201cMan, you are killin\u2019 it!\u201d\nand then raises his hand to fist-bump you, it is highly possible your arms will\nbe so weak and tired that you won\u2019t be able to reciprocate. So, come up with a\ngood way to play it off, like saying, \u201cFist bumpin\u2019 is for suckers! Real men\npass out when they try to lift their arms. Goodnight!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Realize one day, very soon, this will be you. Because these\n\u201ckids\u201d don\u2019t look that different from my 13-year-old daughter. Which is to say\nmy daughter doesn\u2019t look that different from these college kids. Which means\none day in the not-so-distant future this WILL be me, unloading a car\u2019s worth\nof possessions into a dorm room and choking back tears as I say goodbye. Ouch!\nThat\u2019s real pain. (And to top it off, some alum with bad timing will march in and\nsay he can\u2019t believe the Health Department deemed his old room habitable again.)\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Just like all across the country, this past weekend was move-in day at Flagler College. It\u2019s where I work, and also where I graduated oh-so many moons ago. So with a little bit of nostalgia, and a whole lot of masochism, I like to go back each move-in to help new college freshmen carry all their possessions \u2013 which must include numerous granite boulders \u2013 up to their dorm rooms. You learn quite a few things about the world, and yourself, when you undertake such physical exertion under the blazing August Florida heat. Important things, such as: <\/p>\n
\u2022 You\u2019re not as strong as you look. Actually, I don\u2019t even look strong. Pretty scrawny, actually. So I don\u2019t know why I try to be a hero and carry all the big boxes. I should stick to comforters, or boxes of tissues. But not me! I had to act super-strong and say things like, \u201cShoot, that shoe bin weighs more than twice my weight? Pshaw! No problem. Just strap it to my back with these ratchet tie-downs and don\u2019t worry when you hear a snapping sound. That\u2019s just my spinal cord rupturing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2022 You will feel such excruciating pain in the muscles on the insides of your elbows for days afterward. It will make you wonder if little aliens are about to pop out. I don\u2019t know what those muscles are, or why after carrying boxes they hurt so much. But I would surmise by the awful pain that they have never been used before in my life. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[575,557,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2019-nutshells","category-getting-old-er-older","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1970","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1970"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1970\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1971,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1970\/revisions\/1971"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1970"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1970"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}