Speed. Convenience. Death. OK, maybe I\u2019m exaggerating. It\u2019s\njust I\u2019ve had a bad experience in the past with pressure-cooking. I didn\u2019t\nalmost die. No, it\u2019s more like I almost had my face burned off. A typhoon of\nhot, scalding water leaped at my noggin in an attempt to maliciously deface me.\nI had the good sense to leap back, run and never return. I left the pressure\ncooker, the house, the car, everything. I never went back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know where I went wrong. This was years ago. I had\nbeen gifted a used pressure cooker and attempted to cook something in there.\nAll was going according to plan \u2026 until I put it on the burner. At that point\nthe cooker built up pressure (I thought it was supposed to!), burst out its steam\nrelease valve and sent what looked like Old Faithful across my kitchen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It took three years and a lot of therapy before I could even\nbring myself to scramble an egg. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But now, in an attempt to turn my dinner-time cooking into\nsomething that takes no time and produces gourmet-quality meals (the box\nproclaimed it), I am at it again. I recently purchased one of those 9-in-1\ncooker contraptions that promises to boil down my dinner to mere minutes thanks\nto high-pressure steam. Others told me of the joy of using the device, and how\neasy it is to make beans, rice, birthday cakes and all manner of things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It hasn\u2019t been easy. I\u2019m still getting over my terror of\npressure-cooking. Plus, the instruction manual isn\u2019t helping. There are about\n75 pages of warnings at the front of the book. (They\u2019re denoted as \u201cImportant\nSafeguards,\u201d not \u201cwarnings.\u201d) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part of the issue is I like to read warnings, but ignore the\nactual instructions on how to use appliances. But the first safeguard is to\n\u201cread all instructions,\u201d which has put me into an existential crisis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The warnings cover everything. What happens if a meteor\nstrikes while you\u2019re pressure cooking. Why you should never gnaw on the cord\nwhile you\u2019re cooking. How you could receive a life-threatening paper cut from the\npages of the \u201csafeguards\u201d if you don\u2019t take special precautions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some pages have multiple warning hazard symbols, and there\nis even a graphic image of a man having his eyeballs burned out by looking\ndirectly into the steam release. If \u201cRaiders of the Lost Ark\u201d taught us\nanything, it\u2019s to never stare directly into something menacing if you don\u2019t\nwant your face melted off. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I dressed in full battle gear as I prepared my first go at\nit: a pot of jasmine rice. Start small, live to fight another day I figured. I\nwore safety goggles, duct-taped oven mitts over my hands, had a baking tray\nstrapped to my chest and covered my face in burn ointment as a precaution. I\nused sticks and tongs to press buttons and pour in ingredients so I wouldn\u2019t\nhave to get too close. I built a blast shield out of plywood and plexiglass to\nhide behind. Then I hunkered down and prayed, waiting for the geyser to erupt\nand evaporate the flesh from my bones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But nothing ever happened. Not true: Like 13 seconds later,\nperfect jasmine rice appeared. Like the kind you get in a restaurant. I patted\ndown my body, making sure no part of me was on fire, or missing. I took a deep\nbreath and realized I had vanquished my demons. I had succeeded with the fancy\npressure cooker. I was ready to hit the big time \u2026 provided I can avoid one of\nthose meteor strikes or the life-threatening paper cuts from the \u201csafeguards.\u201d
\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Speed. Convenience. Death. OK, maybe I\u2019m exaggerating. It\u2019s just I\u2019ve had a bad experience in the past with pressure-cooking. I didn\u2019t almost die. No, it\u2019s more like I almost had my face burned off. A typhoon of hot, scalding water leaped at my noggin in an attempt to maliciously deface me. I had the good sense to leap back, run and never return. I left the pressure cooker, the house, the car, everything. I never went back. <\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know where I went wrong. This was years ago. I had been gifted a used pressure cooker and attempted to cook something in there. All was going according to plan \u2026 until I put it on the burner. At that point the cooker built up pressure (I thought it was supposed to!), burst out its steam release valve and sent what looked like Old Faithful across my kitchen. <\/p>\n
It took three years and a lot of therapy before I could even bring myself to scramble an egg. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[575,559],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2019-nutshells","category-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1983"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1984,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1983\/revisions\/1984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}