I\u2019m a list addict, a list junkie, a list maniac. My office, my desk and my house often look like a ticker tape parade thanks to notes I leave everywhere. So terrified I will forget something (if there was a fire in the kitchen, I would probably make a list), I scribble endlessly, trying in vain to keep myself in line.
\n
\nI just started a new list. At the top: \u201cGet the freakin\u2019 squirrels out of the attic,\u201d and then steps to do it. (Step 3: Relocate to Portugal, right after \u201cgive them money to leave.\u201d)<\/p>\n
We started hearing odd noises in the walls and above the kitchen recently, all through the day and night. It was the bushy-tailed varmints loading pecans into the walls \u2014 my walls \u2014 in preparation for winter. Up and down the roof they run, scaring the dog and making me think an airplane has crashed. Any day now I expect to come home and find the locks on the doors changed and hundreds of them inside watching Oprah. <\/p>\n
Since I can\u2019t allow vermin hanging around and drinking milk straight out of the carton, I did what any responsible homeowner would do: I wrote it down on a piece of paper, added it to the stack and went about my business. Problem solved.<\/p>\n
The irony is that while I\u2019m organized enough to keep lists, I\u2019m not organized enough to keep on top of them. They spread so quickly. They multiply and reproduce. They invite friends over, and they get lost. I need a list of my lists to get organized, to get me moving. <\/p>\n
Don\u2019t know why, but something deep down in the bowels of my mind believes this is all like writing to Santa Claus \u2014 write it down, send it to the North Pole and on Christmas Day, it will be there. Simple as that. <\/p>\n
Or that there is some list fairy who comes at night to take care of everything. I picture a fat little man with wings, a cigar and three-day-old stubble. He would wear a tool belt and have a serious problem with his jeans showing FAR too much of his southerly regions. <\/p>\n
But there is no such fairy. Instead, my lists add up, untended and un-crossed off. <\/p>\n
Ever come across a list with something like this: \u201cNo oil in Jeep. Finish changing. DO NOT DRIVE!\u201d Are you kidding?!? I\u2019ve been driving it around for the past six months!<\/p>\n
The other day I found a list with an item that said simply, \u201ctrees.\u201d Trees? What about them? It doesn\u2019t say. And I can\u2019t remember what that refers to. Should I buy some? Did I want to cut them all down? Or was there something up in them, like a cobra nest I need to avoid? Heck if I know. <\/p>\n
Others are the same way: \u201cneeded paint,\u201d \u201cchimney \u2013 remove?\u201d \u201cshed leaning to left,\u201d \u201ccar still catching fire.\u201d What do these things mean? What prescription medication was I on when I thought about removing a chimney?<\/p>\n
Another said, \u201cfix bathroom tub leak.\u201d That can\u2019t be good. How come no one told me?<\/p>\n
To try and impress upon myself the urgency, I use headings like, \u201cDo Now, quick,\u201d \u201cGet it done, or no snacks!\u201d or \u201cWe might all die if these aren\u2019t done soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s list madness, totally out of control. And new jobs and tasks come every day, demanding to be added to some scrap of yellowing paper with the long line of other untended duties. I will never catch up. I will never cross anything off. <\/p>\n
So I\u2019m creating a new list and it will be empty save for one item:<\/p>\n
1. Eliminate all lists. <\/p>\n
Then I will add it to my stack and promise to get to it later. One day I will.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m a list addict, a list junkie, a list maniac. My office, my desk and my house often look like a ticker tape parade thanks to notes I leave everywhere. So terrified I will forget something (if there was a fire in the kitchen, I would probably make a list), I scribble endlessly, trying in vain to keep myself in line.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}