So\nhere\u2019s what you don\u2019t do: When you are about to go on a trip for several days\nto the mountains of North Carolina, which just happens to be at least eight\nhours away, and your wife says, \u201cMy suitcase is at the top of the stairs, can\nyou bring it down?\u201d When she says this, and you say, \u201cThe suitcase? Bring it\ndown? No problem! I\u2019ll take care of it,\u201d make sure you don\u2019t do one thing:\nForget to take care of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because\nwhat you don\u2019t want to do \u2013 what would be incredibly irresponsible and dumb and\npossibly criminal, depending on the jurisdiction and the judge \u2013 is drive all\nthe way to the mountains of North Carolina, which just happens to be at least\neight hours away, and find you don\u2019t have the suitcase. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially\nnot after you told your wife, \u201cNo problem! I\u2019ll take care of it.\u201d Because that\nwould now be a lie. And worse, the suitcase would still be at the top of the\nstairs \u2026 at least eight hours away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because\nwhen you carry everything into the North Carolina house you rented and your\nwife goes to unpack her suitcase and then looks around and says, \u201cHey, wait a\nminute, where\u2019s MY suitcase?\u201d you will have to gasp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\nwill be an epic gasp. It will literally suck all the oxygen out of the house.\nIf there is a fire lit in the fireplace, it will literally kill the fire.\nBecause you\u2019ll realize at that moment that the suitcase isn\u2019t there. And of\ncourse it isn\u2019t. You can go out and check the car (better do that anyway,) but\nit will be futile. Because it won\u2019t be there, either. You know where it is. You\nknow EXACTLY where it is! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s\nback at home, at least eight hours away, at the top of the stairs. Right where\nyour wife told you it was. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Told\nyou a little over eight hours ago. Told you to go get it. And you told her \u2013\nremember what you told her? \u2013 you told her, \u201cNo problem! I\u2019ll take care of it.\u201d\nBoy, was that a bone-headed thing to say. Because clearly you didn\u2019t take care\nof it. Clearly you left it up there. Clearly you have doomed your wife. Because\nnow she has no clothes, no toiletries bag, no nothing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\nnow, here you are. You have your suitcase \u2013 good move. You have your daughter\u2019s\nsuitcase \u2013 remembered that one. You have the dog\u2019s suitcase \u2013 WHAT?!? The dog\nhas a suitcase? You have the portable electronic device charger and the beer\nyou bought special for the trip and a bunch of Buck Knives that you figured\nmight be handy if there are rabid chipmunks. You have just about everything you\nown, all packed up in boxes and bags and crates and other assorted containers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\nhave it all. You have SO MUCH STUFF! And that\u2019s looking pretty bad. That is\nlooking awfully bad. Because your wife, bless her soul, has nothing. She has literally\nNOTHING!!! And this fact is just hitting her. Just sinking in. And she says,\nshe actually says out loud, something along the lines of, \u201cI don\u2019t \u2026 I can\u2019t \u2026\nI\u2019m gonna\u2019 \u2026 I just have to go take a walk.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\nyou think, \u201cWo, Boy! I\u2019m totally getting divorced over this one.\u201d So you say,\n\u201cYou want us to come with you?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\nshe says, \u201cNO! No, right now, I really just want to be alone \u2026 and maybe rip a\npine tree out of the ground.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\nshe says this in such a calm, controlled and (frankly) scary way that you\nthink, \u201cYep, I\u2019m totally getting divorced \u2026 and then she\u2019s going to kill me\nwith my Buck Knives.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And\nyour wife comes back and she sighs. And then you sigh. And then the dog sighs \u2026\nand asks for dinner. And you all sigh. And then you go shopping. Shopping like\nyou\u2019ve never shopped before. \u201cBuy it all, honey,\u201d you say. And she does. And\nyou tell yourself \u2013 you pledge to yourself! \u2013 you\u2019ll never again say, \u201cI\u2019ll\ntake care of it,\u201d and then leave the suitcase at the top of the stairs, at\nleast eight hours away. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So here\u2019s what you don\u2019t do: When you are about to go on a trip for several days to the mountains of North Carolina, which just happens to be at least eight hours away, and your wife says, \u201cMy suitcase is at the top of the stairs, can you bring it down?\u201d When she says this, and you say, \u201cThe suitcase? Bring it down? No problem! I\u2019ll take care of it,\u201d make sure you don\u2019t do one thing: Forget to take care of it. <\/p>\n
Because what you don\u2019t want to do \u2013 what would be incredibly irresponsible and dumb and possibly criminal, depending on the jurisdiction and the judge \u2013 is drive all the way to the mountains of North Carolina, which just happens to be at least eight hours away, and find you don\u2019t have the suitcase. <\/p>\n
Especially not after you told your wife, \u201cNo problem! I\u2019ll take care of it.\u201d Because that would now be a lie. And worse, the suitcase would still be at the top of the stairs \u2026 at least eight hours away. <\/p>\n
Because when you carry everything into the North Carolina house you rented and your wife goes to unpack her suitcase and then looks around and says, \u201cHey, wait a minute, where\u2019s MY suitcase?\u201d you will have to gasp. <\/p>\n
It will be an epic gasp. It will literally suck all the oxygen out of the house. If there is a fire lit in the fireplace, it will literally kill the fire. Because you\u2019ll realize at that moment that the suitcase isn\u2019t there. And of course it isn\u2019t. You can go out and check the car (better do that anyway,) but it will be futile. Because it won\u2019t be there, either. You know where it is. You know EXACTLY where it is! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[575,561,565],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2019-nutshells","category-family","category-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2004"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2005,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2004\/revisions\/2005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}