I don\u2019t believe in \u201cpremonitions.\u201d They\u2019re like d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu.\nScience has very rational explanations for them involving nothing more than people\nbeing able to see the future or having lived previous lives \u2026 no wait \u2026 that\nisn\u2019t it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, I don\u2019t believe in premonitions. But if you\u2019re going\nto have one, my feeling is it should be announced before it happens. Not in the\nmoment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like when my wife and I went to IKEA to purchase a sleeper sofa\nfor a loft where we sometimes watch TV, as well as stow visiting family who\nneed to be cordoned off from the normal folk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This meant a ride up to Jacksonville to get a box that would\ntest the dimensions of our Toyota RAV4. With its pop-up hatchback, it seems\nlike it can haul lots of stuff, but can barely hold a 6-pack of beer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are a couple of things in life that make me totally\nuneasy: poisonous snakes, conversations where you run out of things to say,\ndental appointments when you just know a cave system has developed in a molar and\nany transporting of objects too big for my vehicle. (Oddly enough, this doesn\u2019t\nstop me from TRYING to transport such objects \u2026 I just feel anxious about it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, here I was, stuffing a large IKEA box into my car and\ntelling my wife not to worry \u2026 because I had a plan \u2026 and the fact that it\nwouldn\u2019t fit, and the hatch wouldn\u2019t close, wasn\u2019t really a problem \u2026 because, of\ncourse: I had a plan \u2026 and tie-down straps! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To the premonition! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tie-down straps are a wonder. They have strong hooks on\neither side and ratchets to pull the straps tight. They hook onto anything,\nincluding the sturdy metal frame of an open hatch, which can be reached through\na little opening in the plastic trim. Tie-down straps are fool-proof, and if\nnot for the fact that pretty much anyone who actually uses them is a fool, they\nwould have solved world peace a long time ago. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tie-down straps, however, cannot foresee freak occurrences\n(I\u2019m blaming the strap here, not the operator) like hitting a large bump in a\nconstruction zone on the interstate. Such a bump makes a loud sound like\nsomething bad has happened with the tie-down. But to the naked eye in the rear\nview mirror, all will appear perfectly fine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This will be good because you can then tell your wife, \u201cSee?\nNo problem. Tie-down straps are awesome!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bring on the premonition!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only it isn\u2019t perfectly fine. Because when the car hit the\nbump, the hatch gave just enough slack for the hook to jump off the sturdy metal\nand onto the rickety plastic trim. This trim is held on by clips designed to\ngive-way in a 1 mph whisper. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the very moment you are saying, \u201cDon\u2019t worry \u2026 I\u2019m\npractically a professional,\u201d a loud pop will erupt from the back as the hatch\njerks open and the flimsy plastic trim is ejected like a rocket out onto the\ninterstate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh my God!\u201d my wife cried. \u201cThis is exactly the premonition\nI had!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
OK, wait \u2026 WHAT!?!?!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The premonition has been revealed! (And a little late, I\nwould say.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I navigated the car to the emergency lane, certain that\nthe intense beating of my heart had broken a couple ribs, I said, \u201cYou had a\npremonition this would happen? And you\u2019re only telling me now!?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI thought you didn\u2019t believe in stuff like that?\u201d she replied,\nlooking out the back at the chunk of plastic that was being run over by other\ncars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I don\u2019t,\u201d I replied, getting ready to climb out to\nget my wounded plastic. \u201cBut I like to consider them on a case-by-case basis.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t go out there!\u201d my wife warned me as I opened the\ndoor, doom in her voice. \u201cThe premonition warned about a car accident!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, but don\u2019t you see? I won\u2019t be IN the car,\u201d I said as a\nsemi roared by, sounding like a mountain avalanche. \u201cThe premonition is no\nlonger valid. The accident has already occurred. Plus, do you know how many\ntimes I\u2019ve had this exact thing happen before. \u2026 Stupid tie-down straps!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With lightning reflexes, I ran into the road to collect my mauled\nplastic. I re-\u201csecured\u201d my hatch. I returned to my vehicle with three whole\nyears of my life erased from my future. I got us back on the road. Whew! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, your premonition was right about getting injured,\u201d I\nadmitted. \u201cI got this sandspur stuck in my thumb.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She gasped and said, \u201cI KNEW IT!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I still don\u2019t believe in premonitions \u2026 but I did make a mental\nnote to always check on them BEFORE using tie-down straps. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t believe in \u201cpremonitions.\u201d They\u2019re like d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu. Science has very rational explanations for them involving nothing more than people being able to see the future or having lived previous lives \u2026 no wait \u2026 that isn\u2019t it. <\/p>\n
Anyway, I don\u2019t believe in premonitions. But if you\u2019re going to have one, my feeling is it should be announced before it happens. Not in the moment. <\/p>\n
Like when my wife and I went to IKEA to purchase a sleeper sofa for a loft where we sometimes watch TV, as well as stow visiting family who need to be cordoned off from the normal folk. <\/p>\n
This meant a ride up to Jacksonville to get a box that would test the dimensions of our Toyota RAV4. With its pop-up hatchback, it seems like it can haul lots of stuff, but can barely hold a 6-pack of beer. <\/p>\n
There are a couple of things in life that make me totally uneasy: poisonous snakes, conversations where you run out of things to say, dental appointments when you just know a cave system has developed in a molar and any transporting of objects too big for my vehicle. (Oddly enough, this doesn\u2019t stop me from TRYING to transport such objects \u2026 I just feel anxious about it.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[575],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2019-nutshells"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2007"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2008,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2007\/revisions\/2008"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}