If you\u2019re like me, you\u2019re terrified by the calendar. Aware\nthat we are already deep into December, but have few, if any, holiday gifts for\npeople under the tree. Forget the tree! You don\u2019t even have IDEAS, and time is\nrunning short. Worse still, all the Christmas gift-giving lists you read have\nnothing but practical, realistic and affordable gifts that lack the wow factor\nthat you\u2019re really gunning for. I hear you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Christmas should be about what\u2019s most important: Impressing\nfamily and friends with trendy presents that scream, \u201cI\u2019m hip and you\u2019re not!\u201d\nYou know, the Christmas spirit. So, I\u2019m here to offer you my 2019\n\u201cI\u2019m-Hipper-Than-You\u201d Christmas Gift Guide with the best things to buy: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Anything with the word \u201cSmart\u201d in front of it. You can\u2019t\ngo wrong here. Just get on Amazon, type it in the search window and buy\neverything that comes up. Smart watches. Smart home devices. Smart fitness gear.\nSmart kitchen gadgets. The \u201csmart\u201d refers to tech devices connected to a computer\nor phone by WIFI and so incredibly necessary that you\u2019re not sure how\ncivilization survived thousands of years without it. Thanks to newer, more\nrevolutionary and incredibly expensive technology, this year we have seriously\nsmart stuff, like Smart Toasters (which can text your iWatch when your toast\nburns,) Smart Cameras (which can film your kitchen when your Smart Toaster\ncatches on fire) and Smart Blood Pressure Monitors (which can monitor your\nblood pressure after your house burns down.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Self-rolling yoga mats. These have been on the market for\na little while. The only reason you don\u2019t already have one is you never\nrealized how much better life can be if you didn\u2019t have to roll up your own\nmat. Remember what life was like before you got your first chauffeur? Or a\npersonal assistant to cut up all your food? Or that WIFI-enabled Smart Butter\nSpreader, so you wouldn\u2019t have to do all that time-consuming, grueling and\nnasty work on your burned Smart Toast? Only dumb people with lots of time on\ntheir hands do that! But just think, with a self-rolling yoga mat (not\ntechnically \u201cSmart\u201d yet, because you can\u2019t use your phone to roll it up while\nyou\u2019re at work) you will have time for more important things than yoga \u2026 like\nsharing selfies on Instagram in front of your self-rolling mat. And isn\u2019t that\nwhat it\u2019s really all about? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Cheese of the Month Club. This is a great way to get some\nreally exotic, expensive and utterly awful cheeses shipped directly to your\nhome. Why would you want this? The worst part of cheese is that it goes bad and\nyou get really upset that you didn\u2019t eat in time and have to throw it away.\nWhat a waste! But the great thing about expensive cheese is it\u2019s usually\npre-molded and tastes so horrible that you don\u2019t know if it\u2019s bad or just\nterribly expensive. Problem solved!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 A Smart Cheese Vault. Because only a heathen stores exotic cheese in no-name, un-branded, trademark-free plastic storage containers. No, today\u2019s tech-inspired trendsetters store their spoiled milk in a WIFI-enabled, temperature-controlled, mold-inducing, camera-included vault that uploads pictures to your Instagram account every 10 minutes to remind your friends that their lives are pretty disappointing and they\u2019re clearly not making enough money. (Note: Don\u2019t put the Smart Cheese Vault too close to the Smart Toaster. The fire will dry your cheese out.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 The world\u2019s first iGrape. Haven\u2019t heard about this one?\nIt\u2019s big time. It\u2019s a revolution in food production, genetic mutation \u2026 I mean\nalteration, and Smart technology. The iGrape can tell you how many calories it\nhas, whether it is at peak ripeness and when you should eat it, all through a\ntiny WIFI-enabled microchip in its little grape skin. The same company is\nplanning to release iBroccoli next year, which through an iPhone app can demand\nyour children eat it so you don\u2019t have to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Anything Baby Yoda. This popular character with big eyes from\nthe \u201cStar Wars: The Mandalorian\u201d won\u2019t connect to your home WIFI or send\nphotos. But it will warm your heart and make you feel good about the world\nagain. And couldn\u2019t we all use a little bit more of that? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If you\u2019re like me, you\u2019re terrified by the calendar. Aware that we are already deep into December, but have few, if any, holiday gifts for people under the tree. Forget the tree! You don\u2019t even have IDEAS, and time is running short. Worse still, all the Christmas gift-giving lists you read have nothing but practical, realistic and affordable gifts that lack the wow factor that you\u2019re really gunning for. I hear you. <\/p>\n
Christmas should be about what\u2019s most important: Impressing family and friends with trendy presents that scream, \u201cI\u2019m hip and you\u2019re not!\u201d You know, the Christmas spirit. So, I\u2019m here to offer you my 2019 \u201cI\u2019m-Hipper-Than-You\u201d Christmas Gift Guide with the best things to buy: <\/p>\n
\u2022 Anything with the word \u201cSmart\u201d in front of it. You can\u2019t go wrong here. Just get on Amazon, type it in the search window and buy everything that comes up. Smart watches. Smart home devices. Smart fitness gear. Smart kitchen gadgets. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[575,556],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2019-nutshells","category-holidays"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2012"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2017,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012\/revisions\/2017"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}