They\u2019re not big numbers. Not on their own. As individuals.\nLeave them by themselves and people would think you were very young. A pup. So\ncute. Adorable, even! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But combine them as an age \u2013 just like that little gremlin\nof a daughter did to me the other day \u2013 and they sound pretty horrible. Angry.\nTired and worn out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I won\u2019t say the two numbers that when put together mark my\nyears on this Earth. They\u2019re kind of painful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But she did. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were riding along, making idle chit-chat. Because she\u2019s\n14 and most of the time I don\u2019t know what to say to her, I just pick random\nthings that pop into my mind. Things I think a 14-year-old might find\nfascinating and REALLY cool. So, I said, \u201cCan you believe it\u2019s almost February?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d she said, with the enthusiasm of a can of corn. \u201cAnd\nyou know what else? That means it\u2019s almost your birthday.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If she had just left it there, it would have been one of\nthose \u201cwarm your heart moments.\u201d What a sweet angel. She remembered my birthday\nis coming. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But \u2026 she didn\u2019t leave it there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, you know you\u2019re going to be [I PLEAD THE FIFTH\nAMENDMENT HERE AND BLEEP OUT MY AGE]?\u201d she asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUm, yeah, I\u2019m kind of aware. Thanks,\u201d I said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWow! Like, really, WOW! That\u2019s old, dad. Like you\u2019re getting\nup there, you know that?\u201d she said. \u201cI mean, you know in [BLEEP] years you\u2019ll\nbe 50, right?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUm \u2026 er \u2026 yeah. Kind of know that, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd then in only [BLEEP] years you\u2019ll be 60. Whoosh! Yikes.\nHow time flies, huh? And then, I don\u2019t want to tell you this, but like in only\n[BLEEP] years you\u2019ll be 70! How do you feel about that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know I\u2019m pulling the car over and throwing you out.\nThat\u2019s how I feel about that,\u201d I told her. \u201cBut here\u2019s the thing: At least when\nI look in the mirror, I still look young … right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a pause. A REALLY awkward pause. She just stared\nat me. Finally she said: \u201cUm \u2026 uh \u2026 yeah. So, is that how you see yourself in\nthe mirror? Young?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGET OUT OF THE CAR!!!\u201d I yelled. \u201cHere\u2019s a quarter for the\nbus. Good luck getting home!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because ouch! Because, yes, that IS how I see myself in the\nmirror. I think I look pretty young. I think I feel pretty young. And until the\nlittle 14-year-old bugger brought it up, I still thought I WAS pretty young.\nThese ticking by numbers didn\u2019t seem to be affecting me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, it got me wondering, was I just fooling myself? It\u2019s\nlike that expression: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I always thought\nyouth was, too. If you thought young, if you didn\u2019t get hung up on aging and\ngetting older, you could just stem that tide. Stave it off. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought about my dad, back when he was turning these ages.\nI remember calling him \u201cold man.\u201d It wasn\u2019t to be mean, or spiteful. It was\njust that he had reached a set of years that seemed so out of reach to me as a\nkid. It was hard to fathom those numbers. That you could live that long. It was\nlike trying to imagine what $1 trillion dollar worth of bills laid out on the\nfloor might look like. Or how tall Mt. Everest was when I had spent my whole\nlife strutting around Florida at sea level. It just wasn\u2019t within my level of\ncomprehension. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It wasn\u2019t that he looked old. But he had to be, with an age\nlike that. He had seen things. Covered so much territory. Launched a thousand\nships. Personally known Sophocles, and even his buddy Stan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
His age wasn\u2019t a curse. It was actually a badge of honor and\npride. It was something I wanted to be one day. Wise. Strong. An adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So why was it so different on the other side? Now that I\u2019m\nup there? I don\u2019t even like to say the numbers!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perspective, I guess. And maybe it is large-part mental. All\nin your head. Who you see in the mirror. Whether you really get old or not. Not\nin the way you combine the numbers, but when you decide to let them age you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who knows? And I guess I could have worked this out with the\nkid, but I had dropped her off two blocks back on the side of the road.\n[BLEEP!] I guess I better go back and pick her up. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
They\u2019re not big numbers. Not on their own. As individuals. Leave them by themselves and people would think you were very young. A pup. So cute. Adorable, even! <\/p>\n
But combine them as an age \u2013 just like that little gremlin of a daughter did to me the other day \u2013 and they sound pretty horrible. Angry. Tired and worn out. <\/p>\n
I won\u2019t say the two numbers that when put together mark my years on this Earth. They\u2019re kind of painful. <\/p>\n
But she did. <\/p>\n
We were riding along, making idle chit-chat. Because she\u2019s 14 and most of the time I don\u2019t know what to say to her, I just pick random things that pop into my mind. Things I think a 14-year-old might find fascinating and REALLY cool. So, I said, \u201cCan you believe it\u2019s almost February?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d she said, with the enthusiasm of a can of corn. \u201cAnd you know what else? That means it\u2019s almost your birthday.\u201d <\/p>\n
If she had just left it there, it would have been one of those \u201cwarm your heart moments.\u201d What a sweet angel. She remembered my birthday is coming. <\/p>\n
But \u2026 she didn\u2019t leave it there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[576,561,557,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2020-nutshells","category-family","category-getting-old-er-older","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2035"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2036,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2035\/revisions\/2036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}