There were lots of things I feared while growing up.\nLightning strikes that could make my fillings pop out. Gingivitis-stricken\nrattle snakes. A giant oak tree branch falling down on my side of the house,\ntrapping me under its gargantuan branches. Or worse: Destroying my prized\nNintendo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were smaller things that kept me awake at night, too.\nJust as worrisome, but not quite on the same scale: A jagged bone left in a\nchicken nugget that might nick a major artery while I swallowed it. A smaller\noak tree branch falling and destroying my prized Nintendo. My white polo\nuniform shirt turning pink after running with the wrong laundry crowd, and then\nhaving to wear it to school the next morning. (Wait, that one actually\nhappened!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But maybe worst of all, or at least right up there with the\nworst of them (like being bitten by a rattlesnake WHILE enduring a lightning strike!)\nwas this: Passing the parallel parking portion of my driver\u2019s test. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, mercy, mercy me! Talk about a full-on horror story.\nSleepless nights. Sweaty palms. Thoughts of fleeing the country for one of\nthose places that loves bicycles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which is why the little newspaper article had such an effect\non me the other day: \u201cParallel parking cut from driving exam,\u201d read the\nheadline. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It said that Nevada was eliminating parallel parking in its driving\nskills test because it will likely reduce the number of repeat test-takers who\nhave to keep coming back because they couldn\u2019t get their car between two cones.\nAnd even more shocking, it said Nevada was joining Florida and a couple other\nstates that had already eliminated the test. My own state has already sent the\ndreaded parallel pariah to the waste bin? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019ll be the son of a monkey\u2019s uncle\u2019s sweat pants!\u201d I\nblurted out, before pounding the table. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hadn\u2019t felt emotions like this in years. Was it my old\nfears welling up on me? Concern for safety of the driving public? Or maybe,\nmore to the heart of it, absolute disgust that all of these lucky buggers\nwouldn\u2019t have to face that same agonizing, obstacle-laden torture chamber that we\nall had to suffer through?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it fair we had to endure it and they won\u2019t? (No, I\u2019m not\nproud of my pettiness. It\u2019s just who I am.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I honestly can\u2019t remember the parallel parking portion of my\ndriver\u2019s test. I know I went to a DMV location that used to be near the old\nTampa Stadium. They had a little course set out that you drove through \u2026 so you\nwouldn\u2019t go out on the streets and kill actual people. That could look bad for\nthe DMV. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember doing the entire test, every bit of it. But the\nparallel parking is a blur. Blacked out. I remember waking up in the driver\u2019s\nseat and the instructor saying, \u201cOK. Not sure what happened there, but I guess\nI\u2019ll give it to you so I don\u2019t ever have to go through that again.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To this day, there are few things I dread more than parallel\nparking. First off, I\u2019m dyslexic, so I tend to get all of the prescribed steps\nbackwards. This usually causes me to end up five lanes over \u2026 or in someone\u2019s\nstorefront window. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not that I\u2019m bad at it. I\u2019ve actually managed some pretty\nremarkable parks. But always in a state of abject fear and total terror. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I drive around looking for the perfect spot with no one\naround. But it never fails that the minute I start my maneuver, there is\nsuddenly a school field trip steps away, 45 cars blaring on the horn and an\nambulance with a screaming siren that emerges out of nowhere. I\u2019ve been known\nto toss my keys out the window and run away in a zig-zagged pattern. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t care if this new generation has back-up cameras or\ncars that will do it for you. People need to know how to parallel park. And\nthey should have to test on it, too. I HAD TO FRIGGIN\u2019 SUFFER!!! They should,\ntoo. To know that dread and fear, just like the rest of us. After all, it\u2019s not\nas bad as a rattlesnake bite while being struck by lightning. (Although, it\u2019s\npretty darn close.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There were lots of things I feared while growing up. Lightning strikes that could make my fillings pop out. Gingivitis-stricken rattle snakes. A giant oak tree branch falling down on my side of the house, trapping me under its gargantuan branches. Or worse: Destroying my prized Nintendo. <\/p>\n
There were smaller things that kept me awake at night, too. Just as worrisome, but not quite on the same scale: A jagged bone left in a chicken nugget that might nick a major artery while I swallowed it. A smaller oak tree branch falling and destroying my prized Nintendo. My white polo uniform shirt turning pink after running with the wrong laundry crowd, and then having to wear it to school the next morning. (Wait, that one actually happened!)<\/p>\n
But maybe worst of all, or at least right up there with the worst of them (like being bitten by a rattlesnake WHILE enduring a lightning strike!) was this: Passing the parallel parking portion of my driver\u2019s test. <\/p>\n
Oh, mercy, mercy me! Talk about a full-on horror story. Sleepless nights. Sweaty palms. Thoughts of fleeing the country for one of those places that loves bicycles. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[576,562],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2041","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2020-nutshells","category-childhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2041","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2041"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2041\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2042,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2041\/revisions\/2042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2041"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2041"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2041"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}