\u201cGood morning, Lizard Hospital. How may I help you? Oh, I see. You\u2019re looking for a family of suckers who will take in injured everyday Florida yard lizards, nurse them back to health and potentially adopt them for life? Yep! You\u2019ve come to the right place. Let me just go flush the rest of my sanity down the toilet and I\u2019ll be right with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My house is now \u2026 a lizard hospital. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are two reptilian ICU containers sitting in my dining room. Stuffed with grass and sticks and pieces of drying ground beef. YouTube videos are on the computer about caring for injured lizards. A syringe sits in a bowl of water in the kitchen waiting for my daughter to dribble drops into their mouths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hope these two critters have insurance. Someone is going to have a hefty bill for this top-shelf care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It all started a week ago. My daughter returned from walking the dog to recount the trauma she had witnessed: A massacre! Lizard carcasses scattered about the sidewalk. (There was a flat frog in the street, too, but that was a different problem. Speeders!) The lizards must have had a run-in with a cat. An angry cat. With a grudge. He left the broken bodies as a warning to others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt was awful!\u201d she said. \u201cThere was just one survivor. And as you can see, he\u2019s not doing so well.\u201d She shoved the lizard in my face. He had one eye bulging out. It\u2019s an image you\u2019ll never forget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood Lord!\u201d I said recoiling. \u201cI can see why the cat didn\u2019t want to eat him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, well, I\u2019m going to have to adopt this one and nurse him back to health,\u201d she told me. \u201cI\u2019m naming him \u2026 Sammy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know, as a parent, this is about the point that you realize your life has taken a wrong turn. Because you will think back and remember a time when a buddy said, \u201cDude, why don\u2019t we buy a van and drive around the country for the rest of our lives drinking beer and eating tacos?\u201d As you\u2019re faced with the prospect of a one-eyed lizard being nursed back to \u201chealth\u201d in your house, you\u2019ll wonder why you didn\u2019t jump at that offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait \u2026 his eye is literally bulging out of his face!\u201d I point out, as if I\u2019m the only one to notice this. \u201cI\u2019m not sure that\u2019s a repair-able situation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, dad,\u201d my daughter replied. \u201cBut that\u2019s the least of his problems. Look at the other side.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, GOOD LORD!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a darkened socket where another eye should have been. Not bulging \u2026 missing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe\u2019s blind now. No way he\u2019ll survive without us. We have to adopt him. He can\u2019t make it out on his own. He\u2019s going to need constant care for \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if this were a movie, the sound of her voice would echo and reverberate: \u201c\u2026THE REST OF HIS LIFE \u2026 Life \u2026 life \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to pause to collect my thoughts<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait a minute,\u201d I finally said. \u201cAren\u2019t you 14 years old? I thought 14-year-olds didn\u2019t care about the world? That they rebelled and stole the family car and crashed it into a tree? Can\u2019t you just go do that? I mean, it\u2019s going to be a lot cheaper in the long run!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, speaking of which. We\u2019re going to need a larger lizard aquarium than we have. I\u2019ve been checking for heated ones with built-in running water on Amazon. They\u2019re not cheap!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut you only found the lizard 5 minutes ago!!!\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere\u2019s no time to delay,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next day, Cha Cha showed up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not going to believe this,\u201d my daughter said, back from her dog walk. \u201cThere was another massacre out there today. Saved this little guy. He\u2019s twitching and can only move sideways. On the plus-side, he appears to have both his eyes. But, we\u2019re going to need another container \u2026 STAT!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sammy AND Cha Cha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s been a little over a week in the Lizard Hospital. Anywhere else and the lizards would have \u201cexpired\u201d by now. Shock or bulging eye-socket disease or parents tossing them into the bushes. But in my house, they\u2019re thriving. Regaining their strength and starting to measure for drapes. My daughter feeds them the hamburger meat and cuts them fresh grass. She talks to them and shows them to friends on FaceTime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I dream of white vans and tacos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re testing him tomorrow to see if he\u2019s ready,\u201d my daughter told me about Cha Cha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2019Testing him,\u2019\u201d I said. \u201cWhat the heck are you talking about? Just let him out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNO!!!\u201d she replied. \u201cDon\u2019t you watch \u2018Animal Planet?\u2019 You have to take this slow. Ease them back into their environs. See if they\u2019re ready. This re-entry could take weeks!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019M NOT BUYING MORE HAMBURGER!!!\u201d I barked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is, I guess, something kind of wonderful about it all. All creatures great and small. Caring for the little ones. Showing compassion and trying to help the critters of the world. The idea that everyone, and everything, deserves a chance. Why it has to be in my living room, I\u2019m not sure, but I appreciate the sentiment. Something tugs at me. Something pulls me back to when she was younger. And how you have to admire someone showing that kind of care for something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only, the hospital is quickly running out of beds. Any more massacres out on the sidewalk and we\u2019ll be swamped. I dread her walking the dog anymore for what she might find. Maybe bigger critters \u2013 a bird with a broken wing. An opossum with gout. We definitely don\u2019t have an aquarium big enough for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And we\u2019re definitely running out of hamburger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cGood morning, Lizard Hospital. How may I help you? Oh, I see. You\u2019re looking for a family of suckers who will take in injured everyday Florida yard lizards, nurse them back to health and potentially adopt them for life? Yep! You\u2019ve come to the right place. Let me just go flush the rest of my sanity down the toilet and I\u2019ll be right with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
My house is now \u2026 a lizard hospital. <\/p>\n
There are two reptilian ICU containers sitting in my dining room. Stuffed with grass and sticks and pieces of drying ground beef. YouTube videos are on the computer about caring for injured lizards. A syringe sits in a bowl of water in the kitchen waiting for my daughter to dribble drops into their mouths. <\/p>\n
I hope these two critters have insurance. Someone is going to have a hefty bill for this top-shelf care. <\/p>\n
It all started a week ago. My daughter returned from walking the dog to recount the trauma she had witnessed: A massacre! Lizard carcasses scattered about the sidewalk. (There was a flat frog in the street, too, but that was a different problem. Speeders!) The lizards must have had a run-in with a cat. An angry cat. With a grudge. He left the broken bodies as a warning to others. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt was awful!\u201d she said. \u201cThere was just one survivor. And as you can see, he\u2019s not doing so well.\u201d She shoved the lizard in my face. He had one eye bulging out. It\u2019s an image you\u2019ll never forget. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[576,555,562,561,558,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2020-nutshells","category-animals","category-childhood","category-family","category-florida","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2140"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2142,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2140\/revisions\/2142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}