How to make a perfect Mother\u2019s Day? It\u2019s all in the preparation. And the technique. And knowing not to say things to your wife like, \u201cWait, why do I have to do everything? You\u2019re daughter\u2019s the one you gave birth to! Why isn\u2019t she doing the dishes?\u201d Well, maybe not perfect. But here\u2019s a look at how we pulled off the almost-perfect Mother\u2019s Day this year in case you\u2019re taking notes for future years:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Be careful what you buy. For instance, my daughter came up with a great idea she saw online: A facial jade roller and skin massager. It sounded wonderful. Relaxes and soothes your face. Rolls across the skin, nourishing and replenishing your cells. Reduces line and wrinkles. WAIT!!! What?!? \u201cOh heck no!\u201d I told her. \u201cWe can\u2019t buy your mother something that is supposed to reduce wrinkles. That\u2019s signing our own death warrant.\u201d My daughter pointed out that she doesn\u2019t have any wrinkles, and that it\u2019s just something relaxing. But I wasn\u2019t about to ruin Mother\u2019s Day with a, \u201cHey, just in case you get some bags under your eyes, here\u2019s a jade roller!\u201d We would both be sleeping with the chickens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 When your 15-year-old daughter yells from across the house, \u201cMom? Mom! MOM!!!\u201d smile and say, \u201cIsn\u2019t it just the sweetest sound? Really captures the spirit of the day, and the wonders of being a mother, doesn\u2019t it? I bet you\u2019re SOOOO thankful right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Don\u2019t say, \u201cSo, you know what would really make Mother\u2019s Day special? Formula 1 racing and a nice, cold IPA.\u201d That will not go over well, especially with a 15-year-old yelling from the across the house. (It should be noted that her great cause for alarm was a spider crawling across the ceiling, which turned out to be some lint.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Offer to go for a walk \u2026 by yourself. That way your wife can have a little peace and quiet around the house. And when she texts you and says, \u201cThis is great, and I really appreciate this. Best gift ever! Can you make it 24 hours,\u201d don\u2019t take it personally. Just find a nice bush to camp in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Cute ideas are often a complete pain in the butt. Like when your daughter decides to do a painting for her mother. Great! Yep, go do that. Only she wants the blue flowers and a bee buzzing to be paw prints from the dog and the cat. Oh, no way! Take the next bus out of town, kid! Are you kidding me? Have you ever dipped an animal paw in paint? It\u2019s like putting a weed whacker in a bowl of pudding. You better be in full protective gear, and on someone else\u2019s property. There will be more paint on you and your house than the canvas. And say you somehow succeed, you will now have an angry animal with a large amount of paint dripping from an appendage. You won\u2019t have stopped to think, \u201cSo, how does one go about removing a large amount of paint from a steamed-up kitty?\u201d Because why would you? This doesn\u2019t happen in normal society. But the kitty is not happy, and seems to be relishing the idea of scratching your eyes with his yellow-paint claws. And a hose outside is also not gonna\u2019 go over well. Because the kitty likens this to being dropped in a vat of boiling oil. All the while this is happening, your daughter will find this SO amusing. Because she will have bailed out and gone inside. When does the age of homemade presents finally end?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 When your own mother\u2019s request is for people to come over and bring pizza, and you owe your brother a favor and therefore offer to pay for everything, and then your mother says she wants to pay to celebrate your wives, and hands you a stack of bills double what you actually paid, causing you to think to yourself, \u201cWait a minute, I think I actually netted $100 on the deal,\u201d do you say something, or just take the money and roll with it? Ethical dilemma!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Most of all, make sure you take the time to appreciate these extraordinary women who have done something truly extraordinary. They not only gave birth, but also raised and cared for and nurtured their children. (In fact, my mother is STILL trying to nurture me today!) They have sacrificed, and always been self-less. They have heard calls in the middle of the night and come running. They have held hands during shots and sat with their kids through fevers and tears, and all manner of aches and pains. Dispensed wisdom, dished out meats and always put someone else above their own needs. They\u2019ve given up so much to get that three-letter title, M-O-M. One that kids love to call when there\u2019s a spider on the ceiling. So, reflect on that, not just for the day, but all year. And \u2013 this is a biggie \u2013 if you get a jade roller, make sure you DON\u2019T play up the wrinkle-removing benefits. Just say, \u201cit\u2019s relaxing.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
How to make a perfect Mother\u2019s Day? It\u2019s all in the preparation. And the technique. And knowing not to say things to your wife like, \u201cWait, why do I have to do everything? You\u2019re daughter\u2019s the one you gave birth to! Why isn\u2019t she doing the dishes?\u201d Well, maybe not perfect. But here\u2019s a look at how we pulled off the almost-perfect Mother\u2019s Day this year in case you\u2019re taking notes for future years:<\/p>\n
\u2022 Be careful what you buy. For instance, my daughter came up with a great idea she saw online: A facial jade roller and skin massager. It sounded wonderful. Relaxes and soothes your face. Rolls across the skin, nourishing and replenishing your cells. Reduces line and wrinkles. WAIT!!! What?!? \u201cOh heck no!\u201d I told her. \u201cWe can\u2019t buy your mother something that is supposed to reduce wrinkles. That\u2019s signing our own death warrant.\u201d My daughter pointed out that she doesn\u2019t have any wrinkles, and that it\u2019s just something relaxing. But I wasn\u2019t about to ruin Mother\u2019s Day with a, \u201cHey, just in case you get some bags under your eyes, here\u2019s a jade roller!\u201d We would both be sleeping with the chickens. <\/p>\n
\u2022 When your 15-year-old daughter yells from across the house, \u201cMom? Mom! MOM!!!\u201d smile and say, \u201cIsn\u2019t it just the sweetest sound? Really captures the spirit of the day, and the wonders of being a mother, doesn\u2019t it? I bet you\u2019re SOOOO thankful right now.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[578,561,556,566,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-nutshells","category-family","category-holidays","category-marriage","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2232"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2232\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2247,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2232\/revisions\/2247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}