Here we are again. Reaching the end of summer. When you come to the realization that you\u2019ve squandered all your free time on frivolous things like watching sports, nacho chips and a little thing you like to call freestyle nap-drooling. (Don\u2019t look for it in the Olympics, but it SHOULD be there!) Meanwhile, the massive lists you\u2019ve spent the year building \u2013 all with the expectation that you would do them during the dog days of summer (so-called because you\u2019re lazier than your dog) \u2013 have gone un-filled. Non-complete-o. And you\u2019re running out of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re like me, you\u2019re about to start mad-scrambling. It\u2019s summer crunch time for the project punch list. So, I\u2019ve gathered a few tips on how to navigate the to-do deluge:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Have patience. This is a must. It is highly likely that with a lot of patience, and a little faith, your wife will eventually talk to you again. Remember, the shame and frustration she is feeling over your complete and utter failure to finish a single thing is understandable. Afterall, this is likely the 8th<\/sup> or 9th<\/sup> year you\u2019ve been given the same tasks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Cram. You need to think back to your high school and college days. Remember? Right before a test? The one you always forgot about. Until, say, 20 minutes before. But do you know what you were capable of when pressed? When the pressure was on? In 20 minutes, you could do remarkable things. You could plow so much knowledge into your head. You would go into that test feeling on top of the world. Like you owned it! I mean, you still failed. You ALWAYS failed. But for that briefest of moments, you felt really good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Be realistic and dial-back expectations. For instance, if your to-do list says, \u201cReplace rotted 4X4 fence posts,\u201d maybe change that to something more like, \u201cConsider replacing potentially rotted 4X4 posts, which upon further investigation may be OK, or leaning at a 45-degree angle thanks to something out of your control \u2026 like sea-level rise. At which point, what can YOU do! Go watch sports!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Think up really realistic-sounding excuses for why you didn\u2019t do things you were supposed to. For instance, if you were supposed to replace the door on your chicken run, maybe say the chickens tried to attack your face because they\u2019re rabid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Look for wins. Sometimes you just need a little motivation. Some small success to get the ball rolling and build momentum. Start with something relatively easy that you know you can complete. Like \u2026 oh, who am I kidding?!? Even changing the AC filter looks overwhelming and impossible!!! I\u2019m just gonna\u2019 get a snack and cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Lay off the snacks. Studies have found that 65 percent of weight gain is caused by people desperately trying to avoid summer work projects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Injuries, even fake ones, can get you out of trouble. But if you\u2019re really in deep, and your list has grown too long, you\u2019re going to have to go big. Like maybe getting runover by a car. Or seeing if the chickens actually will attack your face. (Important: Make sure health insurance is up-to-date.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Your children are worse than the mafia. If you think you can get out of this mess by paying them to help, remember who you\u2019re dealing with. Before long, you\u2019re going to be in hock to them, lose your house and probably need to start playing the horses to pay them back. (On the plus side: If you lose the house, 95 percent of your to-do list is now THEIR problem.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 Recognize that the fool you were when you wrote the to-do list at the beginning of summer is not the same person you are today. He\/she was a na\u00efve, optimistic, cruel and heartless person who stunk! Past selves never think about the burden they are placing on their future selves. The pressure and trauma. The heartache. The failure. So, curse the past, tear up your list and declare yourself free of the tyranny. Besides, there\u2019s sports on TV, and if you don\u2019t start practicing your freestyle nap-drooling, you\u2019re never going to make it to the Olympics. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here we are again. Reaching the end of summer. When you come to the realization that you\u2019ve squandered all your free time on frivolous things like watching sports, nacho chips and a little thing you like to call freestyle nap-drooling. (Don\u2019t look for it in the Olympics, but it SHOULD be there!) Meanwhile, the massive lists you\u2019ve spent the year building \u2013 all with the expectation that you would do them during the dog days of summer (so-called because you\u2019re lazier than your dog) \u2013 have gone un-filled. Non-complete-o. And you\u2019re running out of time. <\/p>\n If you\u2019re like me, you\u2019re about to start mad-scrambling. It\u2019s summer crunch time for the project punch list. So, I\u2019ve gathered a few tips on how to navigate the to-do deluge:<\/p>\n \u2022 Have patience. This is a must. It is highly likely that with a lot of patience, and a little faith, your wife will eventually talk to you again. Remember, the shame and frustration she is feeling over your complete and utter failure to finish a single thing is understandable. Afterall, this is likely the 8th or 9th year you\u2019ve been given the same tasks. <\/p>\n \u2022 Cram. You need to think back to your high school and college days. Remember? Right before a test? The one you always forgot about. Until, say, 20 minutes before. But do you know what you were capable of when pressed? When the pressure was on? In 20 minutes, you could do remarkable things. You could plow so much knowledge into your head. You would go into that test feeling on top of the world. Like you owned it! I mean, you still failed. You ALWAYS failed. But for that briefest of moments, you felt really good. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[578,563,566],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-nutshells","category-houses","category-marriage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2276"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2277,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2276\/revisions\/2277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}