I did it! I absolutely did it. Totally and completely. After months, and even years. Waiting, procrastinating, dawdling, worrying, researching, testing, praying, previewing and then praying some more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then finally, I pulled the plug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No \u2026 I believe the correct term is: I cut the cord!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know what I\u2019m talking about here, right? The cable cord? The wire that comes into your house and brings 3,200 channels of live, 24-7 non-stop content \u2026 none of which you actually watch. It just flows in like a raging mountain stream, you pay for it, it flows back out, and then you say, \u201cYep, hit me again next month.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it goes on like this month-after-month, year-after-year. Paying for a premium service you don\u2019t use \u2013 I mean, I\u2019ve never watched a regional sports network in my life, but I had them! \u2013 to the tune of thousands of dollars a year. (I would say millions, but the good journalist in me who values accuracy thinks that might be too low.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only, now I\u2019m through with all that. For the first time in my adult life, and even back to my childhood, I do not have a cable \u201ccabling\u201d into my house. Nope. Now I\u2019m \u201cstreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m a card-carrying cord-cutter and a newly-brainwashed \u2026 er, -inducted \u2026 STREAMER! (This is a fancy way of saying I took all the money I spent on cable and gave it to a bunch of streaming content providers that I will never watch. But who cares? It\u2019s high tech, and I feel fancy!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s great out here in the land of the cord cutters. Liberating. Adventurous. A remote control for something called a \u201cFire Stick\u201d that I can\u2019t for the life of me figure out. (Until I realize I\u2019m holding it backwards, and then the buttons all sort of make sense.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In addition to that bit of knowledge, I\u2019ve learned a few other important things since I got rid of my ubiquitous cable box. Important, deep, insightful, even existential things. Like how when you give it up, you will have no idea what time it is. No idea!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because here\u2019s what nobody tells you: It turns out the little digital clock on the cable box was the only device in the house you actually used to tell time. Not your phone. Not your wall clocks. Not your watch. Not the sun. Shoot, if it\u2019s dark out, I would go look at the cable box and say, \u201cYep, guess it\u2019s night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now it\u2019s gone and I have no earthly idea what time it is. Do I start cooking dinner? Do I go to work? Have I been binge-watching superhero movies until 3 a.m.? Who knows?!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s disorienting. Freaky. I feel adrift. I look at that spot and find myself staring, not fully comprehending what\u2019s going on. \u201cHoney,\u201d I call to my wife, \u201csomeone stole our clock and I don\u2019t know what time soccer comes on.\u201d Then I sit down on the sofa \u2026 FOR HOURS!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve already missed three days of work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I were the cable company, I would run an ad campaign for prospective cord-cutters that says, \u201cDid you know that 92 percent of people who drop cable lose all awareness of time and must be surgically removed from their couch?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also learned that I am not the great negotiator or deal-maker I thought I was. Turns out my wife is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did think I was hot stuff. I had done all my research. Had elaborate spreadsheets with self-written algorithms. Searched out prices and explored all the options. Called the cable company, told them where I stood and that I wanted to \u201ccut some cable, but keep some Internet.\u201d I haggled a bit, was quoted a price and felt really good about it. Then I walked away to give it some time and let them sweat. I pictured the CEO calling down to sales and asking, \u201cWe get that Thompson guy yet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I felt awesome!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I asked my wife if she could call the cable company to check on one final detail, and \u2026 THEY GAVE HER A BETTER DEAL!!! Out of the blue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She wasn\u2019t even asking for one. I was stunned. Gobsmacked. \u201cYou know it\u2019s so funny,\u201d she told me, \u201cbecause I didn\u2019t even know what I was talking about. She just punched a few buttons and found me a better offer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
!!!!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Great job, honey. Good for you. Glad I spent all of these months researching and strategizing and reading that book called, \u201cHow to play hardball with your cable company \u2026 and other tricks learned from the mafia.\u201d That you can just pick up the phone, have a nice conversation with a nice cable lady and Whamo! Save us a bunch of money. (Lesson to Brian: Studying didn\u2019t improve your grades in college, and it\u2019s not working in real life either.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Truth is we\u2019re a couple weeks into our cord-cutting expedition and I haven\u2019t missed all those channels I never watched. We\u2019re getting on with streaming and figuring out new remote controls. With all the money we\u2019re saving, I just put a down payment on a private island in the Caribbean. And we could actually go there one day, but I don\u2019t have any idea what time we have to leave for the airport.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I did it! I absolutely did it. Totally and completely. After months, and even years. Waiting, procrastinating, dawdling, worrying, researching, testing, praying, previewing and then praying some more. <\/p>\n
And then finally, I pulled the plug. <\/p>\n
No \u2026 I believe the correct term is: I cut the cord! <\/p>\n
You know what I\u2019m talking about here, right? The cable cord? Th\te wire that comes into your house and brings 3,200 channels of live, 24-7 non-stop content \u2026 none of which you actually watch. It just flows in like a raging mountain stream, you pay for it, it flows back out, and then you say, \u201cYep, hit me again next month.\u201d<\/p>\n
And it goes on like this month-after-month, year-after-year. Paying for a premium service you don\u2019t use \u2013 I mean, I\u2019ve never watched a regional sports network in my life, but I had them! \u2013 to the tune of thousands of dollars a year. (I would say millions, but the good journalist in me who values accuracy thinks that might be too low.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[578,561,559],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-nutshells","category-family","category-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2282"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2283,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2282\/revisions\/2283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}