You know, in Florida there has always been a fine line between really fun and really stupid. I don\u2019t know why that is. And I say this as a third generation Floridian. It means I can say it without having anyone read into too deeply into it. Look, we all know it\u2019s true. And no one can say for sure what causes it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It just is. That\u2019s Florida.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It causes us to do crazy things. Like try to tickle alligators to see if they laugh. Drive at incredibly high speeds on the interstate while hanging out the window. Buy expensive houses on the coast. Go to Disney World in August.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me repeat: Go to Disney World in the HEAT of August. The blistering, driving, pounding, unrelenting heat. The kind that will turn the weak into beef jerky in a matter of minutes. And because a pandemic is still going on, will mean you have to wear masks in various locations. One more layer of fabric to keep in the heat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is what we decided to do as a family last week. One last hoorah before the start of the school year. A quick overnight trip to Orlando and a day in the park. Crowds were supposed to be slightly thinner, and average temperatures only slightly higher than the surface of the sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Standing at the entrance to Liberty Square for the ropes to drop and the hordes to race for roller coasters, I was drenched in sweat at 9 a.m. All around me was an odd assemblage of humanity. Fathers loaded down in water bottles like desert nomads peddling H2O. People already scorched purple by the sun. Carrying fans. Towels. Blocks of ice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m pretty certain we\u2019re going to die here today,\u201d I remember thinking. \u201cBut until we do, it\u2019s going to be fun!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Floridians.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And off we went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It wasn\u2019t long before we were like heat-ravaged zombies. Dragging one leg behind us as we plodded around mumbling, \u201cPowerade. Must \u2026 find \u2026 Powerade.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And not just any flavor will do. See, my family might be in critical need of a sports drink to replenish their electrolytes, but they won\u2019t drink anything unless it\u2019s red. Flavor? Unknown. It\u2019s just red. They could be running on fumes and about to succumb to the elements, but don\u2019t bring a blue Powerade near them. Only red!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which, for some strange reason, is the rarest drink to find in the park. It\u2019s like a great scavenger hunt. We spent more time bouncing from refreshment stand to refreshment stand in search of sports drinks than on rides.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You start to feel like you\u2019re hunting something on the black market. Acting shady and saying things like, \u201cHey buddy, got a red Powerade you can part with? Know where a guy can get a pallet or two? I\u2019ve got cash and a half-eaten bag of cotton candy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At some point, a helpful passerby overheard us and stopped to say, \u201cYou know, I think I saw some over by the Winnie the Pooh ride,\u201d and off we ran.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honestly, I didn\u2019t really mind the heat, or the torrential rains that storm in like they\u2019re going to flood the Earth. It\u2019s all part of being a Floridian. When the tourists start running for the hills or heading back to their hotels, we just kept going. We watched our weather radars while they posted pictures to Instagram. And when a big, red splotch of truly scary precipitation reared its ugly head, we knew to duck into Pirates of the Caribbean just in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, and the heat. That Central Florida summer-time heat. When the sun has baked your 18th<\/sup> layer of suntan lotion to your skin like glaze on pottery. When your hair starts to sweat. When you can feel the squish of your shoes as the rubber begins to melt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But you\u2019re a Floridian! You\u2019re made for this kind of weather. Bred for it. Your brain cells cooked away years ago. It\u2019s why we try to tickle alligators, to see if they giggle. Or buy expensive houses on the beach, even when hurricanes are barreling down on us. And why we line-up at Disney World in August and revel as the Florida sun tries to crack us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But we won\u2019t crack. We\u2019re Floridians! And we\u2019ve got a line on a whole case of red Powerade. Which is just over by the Haunted Mansion. So, let\u2019s run their fast before our shoes melt and the caked-on suntan lotion makes it too hard to move our joints. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You know, in Florida there has always been a fine line between really fun and really stupid. I don\u2019t know why that is. And I say this as a third generation Floridian. It means I can say it without having anyone read into too deeply into it. Look, we all know it\u2019s true. And no one can say for sure what causes it. <\/p>\n It just is. That\u2019s Florida. <\/p>\n It causes us to do crazy things. Like try to tickle alligators to see if they laugh. Drive at incredibly high speeds on the interstate while hanging out the window. Buy expensive houses on the coast. Go to Disney World in August.<\/p>\n Let me repeat: Go to Disney World in the HEAT of August. The blistering, driving, pounding, unrelenting heat. The kind that will turn the weak into beef jerky in a matter of minutes. And because a pandemic is still going on, will mean you have to wear masks in various locations. One more layer of fabric to keep in the heat. <\/p>\n This is what we decided to do as a family last week. One last hoorah before the start of the school year. A quick overnight trip to Orlando and a day in the park. Crowds were supposed to be slightly thinner, and average temperatures only slightly higher than the surface of the sun. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[578,561,558,565,569],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-nutshells","category-family","category-florida","category-travel","category-weather"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2285"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2286,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions\/2286"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}