And now for some REAL fun at the dinner table, it\u2019s time for \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SAT Vocabulary Flash Cards!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because you don\u2019t know how to suck the marrow out of life until you sit down with the entire family for a nice, nutritious meal, and then proceed to show how little you grasp about the English language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, that\u2019s what you call living, kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s been all about gearing up for the PSAT the past couple of weeks in my house. The PSAT stands for \u201cPreliminary Scholastic Aptitude Test.\u201d It is a practice exam for high school sophomores like my daughter, and it has one simple objective: Scare the living daylights out of you so you go back and prepare for the real SAT. Because the SAT, as we all know, is the mother of all standardized tests \u2013 the T-Rex of its class. It is widely used for college admissions, and guaranteed to have fewer than two questions that are actually relevant in the real world. (Plus, you get to show your skill at filling in bubbles with a No. 2 pencil.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, to get us ready \u2013 or just to supremely embarrass me \u2013 my wife dug out the box of SAT Vocabulary Flash Cards that a family member gifted us. (The box has a sticker on it that proclaims \u201cStudents\u2019 #1 Choice,\u201d but I\u2019m dubious \u2013 vocab word POSSIBLY used in correct context \u2013 that any student in the history of mankind would ever make such a claim.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMom,\u201d my daughter protested the first night. \u201cThe SAT doesn\u2019t even have a vocabulary section anymore!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My wife stared and thought about this. \u201cOh, well,\u201d she finally said. \u201cAt least it\u2019s good practice \u2026 and a lot of fun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am here to tell you that vocabulary flash cards are NOT a lot of fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The reason is quite simple: You become keenly aware of just how bad your vocabulary is, which is especially demoralizing if one of your college degrees is in English, and you have spent the better part of your life being paid to write words that you clearly don\u2019t understand. (Don\u2019t tell anyone.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I mean: I thought \u201canecdote\u201d was what they gave you after you drank poison. (Or is it \u201cdrunk?\u201d Words are confusing!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It became painfully clear within the first couple of cards that I have the vocabulary skills of a stunted fruit bat. Even relatively easy ones tripped me up. Like trying to define, or use in a sentence, the word \u201canomaly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My daughter \u2013 who is the queen of turning cow manure into something resembling Picasso-like masterpieces \u2013 proclaimed this to be easy: \u201cThe cat is an anomaly,\u201d she said. \u201cSee? You don\u2019t even need to know the meaning of the word. It works with everything!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, this kid is going far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only this \u201ckid\u201d isn\u2019t a kid anymore. She\u2019s a sophomore in high school, and this test stuff has me realizing that the coming-of-college is very real. Like, it\u2019s not only looming, but has already crashed down upon our heads. And all we have to prepare for it is a box of dusty vocab flash cards for a test section that doesn\u2019t even exist anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re totally doomed!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t remember much about my own experience with the SAT. Mainly being led into my high school\u2019s gym. The doors being locked and armed dogs (I think they wore barbed wire collars) stationed at the doors. Stern instructions were given. We were not to talk to anyone. We weren\u2019t to look at anyone or anything, including the test. Bathroom breaks were not permitted. Breathing was not permitted. If you had to cry or scream, you had to do that deep down in the pit of your soul. It was so quiet that if a pin dropped, you could hear every atom rattling around inside of it. And at some point, someone gave a very motivating and powerful speech. The gist of it was this: If you don\u2019t do well on this test, your career will be in canning beans. So, good luck!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, that\u2019s what I call an ideal test-taking environment. In fact, there are only two worse environments: On an actual battlefield with bullets whizzing over your head, or underwater \u2026 without a Scuba tank. It\u2019s a wonder I got more than five answers right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With all of this weighing on us, we know the stakes \u2013 how important all of this is \u2013 and we\u2019re scrambling to catch-up. Trying to figure out what \u201captitude\u201d means, and if having a good one can make up for other failings in life. Researching test prep services. Trying to understand how, with all the technological advancements in the world, a test for college still makes you use an antique, wooden No. 2 pencil to fill in tiny bubbles on an antique sheet of paper that is then scanned into what I can only imagine is an antique computer. I mean, why don\u2019t we just fax it to them!?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a lot, and exhausting. If the vocabulary flash cards have shown me anything, it\u2019s that I don\u2019t know nothing. And that\u2019s pretty terrifying. So, our dinner table has become an SAT pressure cooker. The vocabulary flash cards will keep flying fast and furious. At least until we are \u2026 um \u2026 Shoot! What\u2019s a really fancy word for \u201cready?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
And now for some REAL fun at the dinner table, it\u2019s time for \u2026 <\/p>\n
SAT Vocabulary Flash Cards!<\/p>\n
Because you don\u2019t know how to suck the marrow out of life until you sit down with the entire family for a nice, nutritious meal, and then proceed to show how little you grasp about the English language. <\/p>\n
Now, that\u2019s what you call living, kids. <\/p>\n
It\u2019s been all about gearing up for the PSAT the past couple of weeks in my house. The PSAT stands for \u201cPreliminary Scholastic Aptitude Test.\u201d It is a practice exam for high school sophomores like my daughter, and it has one simple objective: Scare the living daylights out of you so you go back and prepare for the real SAT. Because the SAT, as we all know, is the mother of all standardized tests \u2013 the T-Rex of its class. It is widely used for college admissions, and guaranteed to have fewer than two questions that are actually relevant in the real world. (Plus, you get to show your skill at filling in bubbles with a No. 2 pencil.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[578,561,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-nutshells","category-family","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2309"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2309\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2310,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2309\/revisions\/2310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}