Happy birthday, little one!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nope \u2026 hold on \u2026 something\u2019s not right \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Happy birthday, kid!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, check that \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s try: Happy birthday, short stack!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s definitely not it. She\u2019s almost as tall as me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe: Little missy? Or Strawberry shortcake? Wee widdle one? Precious peanut? Ye\u2019 who spent all my money on diapers? Baby boo-boo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, no. None of them are right. None of them work for a daughter who turned 16 today. Sixteen! Can you imagine such a thing? About the only one that works \u2013 the only possible option! \u2013 is the unthinkable one. The one I can\u2019t fathom saying. The one that curdles the lips and twists the tongue into knots. It will crumple my soul to hear it out loud. Can I even say it, this crime upon the ears?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Happy birthday, young lady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No! NO!!! NOOOOO!!!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, wow. Just blacked out there for a while. Dreamed of horrible things. Like wedding dances and grandchildren kicking me in the shins while calling me \u201cPop-Pop McPoopie-pants.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can it be? My daughter is a \u2026 gasp! \u2026 lady?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Strange how we can still see people one way \u2013 like wee little girls \u2013 but the minute we assign something like an age, it forces us to look at them just a bit differently. For who they really are, or are starting to become.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the math messes with ours heads. The numbers start to spin all kinds of new things to ponder. Like how 16 is four years into the teenage years, and only four years from getting out, and into the 20s. The 20s! How can that be a real thing, and so close by?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That the state, in all its infinite bureaucratic wisdom, picked this number for assuming their cerebral cortex, or whatever controls stuff, is ripe enough to let them drive about on their own. On real city streets. In a real car \u2013 not a fake one. Or a golf cart. Just go wherever they please. Like Cincinnati, if they want. Which makes perfect sense, because she can still get lost going to the kitchen some mornings. So, drive like the wind, young lady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, that still sounds so weird \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People keep asking how I\u2019m doing with all of this. Because 16, for some reason, is a milestone year. Society places so much significance on it. We call it a \u201crite of passage.\u201d We say it marks a girl\u2019s \u201ccoming of age.\u201d We acknowledge you\u2019re not quite an adult yet, but allow a bunch of adult-like responsibilities like getting a job or driving, or telling your parents just how incredibly stupid they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some Web site I looked up characterized 16 like this: \u201ca celebration of womanhood (that) marks the end of a girl’s childhood.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What?!? A celebration of womanhood? The end of childhood!?! I know the First Amendment is important, but why is such blasphemy even allowed to be published? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s heavy. That hits where it hurts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How am I doing with all of this? I guess OK. Resigned. Trying to figure out what it all means. Why things have to change. Why people have to do something so dumb as grow up. What is that, biology or something? I didn\u2019t do well in the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see things getting more and more different already. We have strange conversations that sound like two adults talking. She tells me about stuff she learned in psychology class, and I pretend that my degrees and years in higher education mean I somehow understand. She talks about needing to save the polar icecaps, and how she finally realized where Canada is. And that it\u2019s not another state!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even the Christmas list this year evolved and matured to a point where I could barely recognize it. It was loaded down with requests for donations to the Humane Society, the Sierra Club and any organization that was up for physically harming poachers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She wanted hiking back packs and bracelets and clothes. Expensive clothes! And of course, gift cards to Amazon and Nordstrom. It was a refined list, carefully thought out, and devoid of toys. It didn\u2019t scream \u201clittle girl.\u201d It told the story of a young lady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Someone who might approach you and say things like, \u201cHello father. How was your day today? That is good to hear. I closed on a mortgage with my husband. How about that? We will move into our new house in three weeks \u2026 with our children! Oh, those boys, you know? Remember when I was that little and na\u00efve and thought the world pretty much revolved around gummy bears and you. How stupid I was? But now I\u2019ve grown up, and you\u2019ve passed out on the floor again. Boys! Throw some water on Pop-pop and kick him in the shins.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No! Snap out of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She\u2019s only 16. There\u2019s lots of child left in her. Thankfully, a lot of play. A longing to hold onto who she is. Who she was. To not grow up too fast. To get swept up into it all. That\u2019s the rub of life, isn\u2019t it? We\u2019re in such a hurry to get somewhere that we often forget to enjoy the moment we\u2019re in, or reflect on the past. But I sense a lack of urgency in her. A contentment for right where she is, and not racing ahead. That makes me feel better. I\u2019m still not all right with saying, \u201cHappy birthday, young lady!\u201d but I guess I better get used to it. Along with her getting a license and hitting the roads \u2026 for Cincinnati.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Happy birthday, little one! <\/p>\n
Nope \u2026 hold on \u2026 something\u2019s not right \u2026 <\/p>\n
Happy birthday, kid!<\/p>\n
No, check that \u2026<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s try: Happy birthday, short stack!<\/p>\n
That\u2019s definitely not it. She\u2019s almost as tall as me. <\/p>\n
Maybe: Little missy? Or Strawberry shortcake? Wee widdle one? Precious peanut? Ye\u2019 who spent all my money on diapers? Baby boo-boo?<\/p>\n
Oh, no. None of them are right. None of them work for a daughter who turned 16 today. Sixteen! Can you imagine such a thing? About the only one that works \u2013 the only possible option! \u2013 is the unthinkable one. The one I can\u2019t fathom saying. The one that curdles the lips and twists the tongue into knots. It will crumple my soul to hear it out loud. Can I even say it, this crime upon the ears? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[578,557,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-nutshells","category-getting-old-er-older","category-parenthoodandchildren"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2337"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2337\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2338,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2337\/revisions\/2338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}