Oh man, dog-sitting. There is nothing better in life than dog-sitting. Taking in someone else\u2019s K-9 and trying to get them to assimilate with your family. And they can\u2019t do that. They\u2019re dogs! They do dog things. You can\u2019t explain things to them. You can\u2019t say: \u201cOK, so we have rules here. That means you can run the Kentucky Derby in the dining room and then throw up in the living room. It\u2019s NOT acceptable!\u201d But they don\u2019t get it. This is normal behavior for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I haven\u2019t had to dog-sit my brother\u2019s dog, Ella, in a while. We had a porch cat who slept inside, and there was too big a risk she might eat him. So she didn\u2019t stay over. But now that the cat has passed away, we\u2019re back in the dog-sitting business. And it has reminded me of all the tips and tricks that every dog-sitter should know:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 The dog-walk tango. Inevitably your family will bail on you and you\u2019ll get stuck having to walk multiple dogs on your own. When your own dog is 45 pounds, and your family member\u2019s is 362 pounds, it will make for a challenge. Especially if the new dog walks like a drunken sailor, zig-zagging down the street from side to side, and going up on hind legs like a kangaroo at the first sign of a cat or a squirrel or a leaf. This will make you twist and turn and pirouette down the street until you\u2019re dizzy and your neighbors are applauding your performance. \u201cBravo!\u201d they shout. Only, walking two dogs who have their own speeds and priorities (pee and smell flowers vs. KILL THAT SQUIRREL!!!) is a lot like being drawn and quartered as your limbs are nearly torn from their sockets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Dogs are part goats. You know this by the fact that many of them love to eat grass. In fact, a dog like this can be put to work in your yard where they will mow down acres of land for you. There is a teensy-weensy, minor issue with this: Dogs don\u2019t digest grass. In fact, they like to return it to the world. Usually after they\u2019ve run the Kentucky Derby in your dining room and can\u2019t stomach it anymore in your living room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Losing your cool in public is not cool. You can blow your top in the comfort of your own house. (\u201cI told you running makes you sick!!!\u201d) But doing it on the street is a major no-no. Neighbors will never look at you the same way if you\u2019re overheard yelling this at a dog: \u201cYOU SAW I WAS PICKING UP YOUR POOP! AND THAT\u2019S WHEN YOU DECIDED TO LUNGE FOR THE SQUIRRELL!?! NOW IT\u2019S IN MY HAIR!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Dog under-foot. (Tango, part 2.) Remember that the new dog might be kind of stressed out. I mean, you probably have yelled at her A LOT. And so it is only natural that to find comfort, and at the same time bond with you, the animal will follow you around and lie at your feet. This is kind of sweet and endearing \u2026 right up to the point where she does it in the kitchen and you have 15 glasses from the dishwasher and topple over the mound of hippopotamus lying directly beneath you. (Make sure the windows to your house are closed before losing your cool!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 When people ask, \u201cDid you get a second dog?\u201d try not to laugh or say anything too rude like: \u201cYou mean this thing?!? First off, I\u2019m not even sure it\u2019s a dog. Second, you want to buy it?\u201d The dog does have feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Keep your check-in messages with the owners positive and succinct. Here\u2019s a suggestion: \u201cOh yeah, everything is going great and your dog is an absolute angel. Listen, I have to go. I\u2019m at the hospital having a wine glass removed from my forehead. But don\u2019t worry, your dog had almost nothing to do with it. OK, have a great trip!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Dirty feet + slobbering = mud. It\u2019s a very simple equation. There\u2019s no sense stomping around the house and yelling things like, \u201cThere\u2019s mud everywhere! How did this happen?!?\u201d It happens. Go back to cleaning up the grass in the living room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Yes, they will get up on the furniture. Sure, they\u2019ll wander around your house aimlessly all night. Of course, the opossum in the backyard drives them rabid. But when those big, droopy brown eyes look up at you and seem to say, \u201cI love you, Uncle Brian. Thank you for caring for me,\u201d it will all be worth it. Until, of course, you topple over her carrying two arms-full of steak knives, and then it\u2019s back to the hospital.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Oh man, dog-sitting. There is nothing better in life than dog-sitting. Taking in someone else\u2019s K-9 and trying to get them to assimilate with your family. And they can\u2019t do that. They\u2019re dogs! They do dog things. You can\u2019t explain things to them. You can\u2019t say: \u201cOK, so we have rules here. That means you can run the Kentucky Derby in the dining room and then throw up in the living room. It\u2019s NOT acceptable!\u201d But they don\u2019t get it. This is normal behavior for them. <\/p>\n
I haven\u2019t had to dog-sit my brother\u2019s dog, Ella, in a while. We had a porch cat who slept inside, and there was too big a risk she might eat him. So she didn\u2019t stay over. But now that the cat has passed away, we\u2019re back in the dog-sitting business. And it has reminded me of all the tips and tricks that every dog-sitter should know:<\/p>\n
\u2022 The dog-walk tango. Inevitably your family will bail on you and you\u2019ll get stuck having to walk multiple dogs on your own. When your own dog is 45 pounds, and your family member\u2019s is 362 pounds, it will make for a challenge. Especially if the new dog walks like a drunken sailor, zig-zagging down the street from side to side, and going up on hind legs like a kangaroo at the first sign of a cat or a squirrel or a leaf. This will make you twist and turn and pirouette down the street until you\u2019re dizzy and your neighbors are applauding your performance. \u201cBravo!\u201d they shout. Only, walking two dogs who have their own speeds and priorities (pee and smell flowers vs. KILL THAT SQUIRREL!!!) is a lot like being drawn and quartered as your limbs are nearly torn from their sockets. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[579,555,565],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2022-nutshells","category-animals","category-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2371"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2371\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2372,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2371\/revisions\/2372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}