Boy, I\u2019ve never goofed one like this before. Riding down to Key West, expecting to check-in to a cottage in Old Town, and boom, we find we\u2019re arriving a night early. <\/p>\n
A night early! Oh mealy worms. Sometimes I have the common sense of an overcooked macaroni noodle. <\/p>\n
The wife found out when she called to request late check-in. <\/p>\n
\u201cUm,\u201d they told her, \u201cyou\u2019re not scheduled to check-in until tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
The heat of embarrassment took a tour through my body, ending in my toes. I thought my toenails might pop off. I looked for someone to blame, and maybe the dog, but I had to take this one squarely on the shoulders. I misread the paperwork \u2014 dates were never my strong point \u2014 and we were up the creak. <\/p>\n
What a way to start a week-long vacation in the Keys. <\/p>\n
But you know, a start like that means it can only get better. And it did. It all worked out. Thompsons may have chronic bad luck, and petroleum jelly for brains, but we\u2019re survivors. It all worked out because in the Florida Keys there\u2019s no living but good living. <\/p>\n
I love it down there. And it\u2019s not for any of the reasons most people have. Frankly, I don\u2019t do anything that makes the Keys the Keys. Don\u2019t boat, don\u2019t fish, don\u2019t drink until I\u2019m inside out, don\u2019t lobster hunt, don\u2019t collect shells, don\u2019t buy cheap crap, don\u2019t visit tourist attractions, don\u2019t snorkel, don\u2019t scuba and don\u2019t go anywhere that might bring me into close contact with marine life that views my hind quarters as a pork chop. <\/p>\n
Instead, my wife and I do simple things. We take long strolls until the heat of summer has wilted us to puddles and melted our knees. We take in galleries and eat well. We admire architecture and plot changes to our house \u2014 \u201cWhat about a windmill?\u201d <\/p>\n
We walk around with a list of every ice cream shop in town so we\u2019re always prepared, and we admire yachts with mansions growing out of them, prompting us to wonder what we did wrong to be so poor.<\/p>\n
And this trip I learned that life can be best enjoyed from atop a beat-up beach cruiser bicycle. We rented bikes and scooted around Key West without a care in the world, except for the fear of running over rabid chickens that might chase us. <\/p>\n
I don\u2019t usually like to rent bikes because most are brand new, bright colors and come affixed with big signs that read, \u201cDork tourist coming, be mindful and don\u2019t kill.\u201d <\/p>\n
But the bike I found to rent had character. It was covered in rust and looked like it had just been dredged out of the bay. The tires were underflated, and the back wheel was so bent it flopped around like a spinning pancake. <\/p>\n
It was the perfect Key West bike. I rode around town in proud style, swerving uncontrollably when I got going too fast because the front wheel wasn\u2019t actually attached. <\/p>\n
I love a vacation that when people ask, \u201cWhat did you do?\u201d you have to answer, \u201cOne word: tetanus.\u201d <\/p>\n
I kept the freezer stocked with Dove bars. I picked up coconuts and carried them home. I drank more bottled water than there is in Virginia. I invented cocktails. I didn\u2019t answer the phone. I ate roasted almonds. I bought expensive chocolate. <\/p>\n
What a time. What a wonderful, wonderful time. <\/p>\n
Now we\u2019re back, and real life is returning with a thud. The beach cruiser is gone, and so are the mid-day ice creams. <\/p>\n
But a boy can still dream, can\u2019t he? Dream of a day with a yacht that has an ice cream store and a big crane that lowers a rusting bike ashore every morning. <\/p>\n
The back wheel will still flap like a pancake, and I will always arrive one day too early because who doesn\u2019t need to get a jump on vacation?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Boy, I\u2019ve never goofed one like this before. Riding down to Key West, expecting to check-in to a cottage in Old Town, and boom, we find we\u2019re arriving a night early. A night early! Oh mealy worms. Sometimes I have the common sense of an overcooked macaroni noodle. The wife found out when she called to request late check-in. \u201cUm,\u201d they told her, \u201cyou\u2019re not scheduled to check-in until tomorrow.\u201d The heat of embarrassment took a tour through my body, ending in my toes. I thought my toenails might pop off. I looked for someone to blame, and maybe the dog, but I had to take this one squarely on the shoulders. I misread the paperwork \u2014 dates were never my strong point \u2014 and we were up the creak. What a way to start a week-long vacation in the Keys. But you know, a start like that means it can only get better. And it did. It all worked out. Thompsons may have chronic bad luck, and petroleum jelly for brains, but we\u2019re survivors. It all worked out because in the Florida Keys there\u2019s no living but good living. I love it down there. And it\u2019s not for any of the reasons most people have. Frankly, I don\u2019t do anything that makes the Keys the Keys. Don\u2019t boat, don\u2019t fish, don\u2019t drink until I\u2019m inside out, don\u2019t lobster hunt, don\u2019t collect shells, don\u2019t buy cheap crap, don\u2019t visit tourist attractions, don\u2019t snorkel, don\u2019t scuba and don\u2019t go anywhere that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}