It occurred to me this morning as I awoke, desperate for a column idea and the deadline-clock ticking away, that all these thousands of people moving to Florida everyday have no idea what wonderful bugs we have. That Florida could easily be the bug capital of the world. <\/p>\n
We breed \u2018em big, we grow \u2018em ugly, and we make sure there are plenty to go around. \u201cTwenty bugs for every man, woman and child,\u201d goes the state motto, \u201cand double on Sunday.\u201d <\/p>\n
This \u201coccurred\u201d to me as I walked into the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove. I was greeted by a silverfish the size of an engorged tuna. He emerged from the shadows and asked if I could spare any cottage cheese. <\/p>\n
I hate silverfish \u2014 I don\u2019t think they\u2019re fish at all \u2014 and I put a lickin\u2019 on him. For a third generation Floridian, it\u2019s a typical morning: Throw a bagel in the toaster, start the coffee and do battle with the arthropods. It\u2019s a way of life, and many a song have chronicled these great crusades. <\/p>\n
I\u2019ve never lived in any other states, but I don\u2019t think there\u2019s anywhere else where bugs are as par for the course. So accepted, not fashionably, but just as something we have to put up with. There\u2019s your Uncle Eddy, and the cockroach. You invite both to Christmas, and you endure the bad jokes and how they creep up on you in the middle of the night when you\u2019re using the bathroom. <\/p>\n
Fact is, Florida has bugs like no other state. And I don\u2019t think most people moving down here know that. <\/p>\n
Most aren\u2019t pretty bugs \u2014 palmetto bugs, cicadas, predatory stink bugs, fruit flys, cabbage loopers, fungus gnats, chinch bugs, leaf miners, no-see-ums, Southern pine beetles, brown recluse spiders, spittlebugs. Spittlebugs? <\/p>\n
Some of these insects you might find in other states, but I bet they don\u2019t have the same spunk as our Florida variety. Everything here has more character. They\u2019re redneck bugs. They speak with a twang. They\u2019re Jimmy Buffet bugs, in surfer shorts and drinking margaritas. Bugs in pickup trucks. Bugs with attitude. Bugs that would scare a lady\u2019s hair straight and send a dog up a tree. <\/p>\n
Ever seen a banana spider? It\u2019s the kind of creature that will make you give up eyesight. Long legs like skeletal fingers. More hair than I have, and I\u2019m Cuban\/Sicilian! And always in locations that keep them hidden until you\u2019re pressing through the bushes, turning your head and then, \u201cHell-o!\u201d <\/p>\n
Close encounter of the arachnid kind. Nothing like a little nose nuzzle on the fuzzy belly of a banana spider. <\/p>\n
This is a state where cockroaches are the size of minivans and where they leave breakfast orders in the kitchen. The cockroach is so plentiful, they have their own representative in Tallahassee. <\/p>\n
There are of course termites, an insect uncommon up north where wood lasts for centuries, not just 20 minutes. Once, I had a termite eat a hole straight through one of my books. It was a good book, so I flipped through the pages until I found him. He\u2019s no longer among us. <\/p>\n
I consider myself a Grade A mosquito killer, which means if I get bitten, I get so consumed with hunting the offending insect, I will track it for days and then torture it for hours. <\/p>\n
Let\u2019s be fare: There are also a lot of good bugs out there. My wife came home from the nursery the other day with a package that held more than 1,500 lady bugs. We watered the yard \u2014 they come out of their slumber mighty thirsty \u2014 and spent the early evening carefully releasing them into the world. It was actually a pretty enjoyable, and even wonderful time. \u201cGo in peace,\u201d I told them. <\/p>\n
It could have gone on all night. Then the clicking and swarming and buzzing returned, and we retreated to the bedroom. I needed my rest so I could do battle again in the morning. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It occurred to me this morning as I awoke, desperate for a column idea and the deadline-clock ticking away, that all these thousands of people moving to Florida everyday have no idea what wonderful bugs we have. That Florida could easily be the bug capital of the world. We breed \u2018em big, we grow \u2018em ugly, and we make sure there are plenty to go around. \u201cTwenty bugs for every man, woman and child,\u201d goes the state motto, \u201cand double on Sunday.\u201d This \u201coccurred\u201d to me as I walked into the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove. I was greeted by a silverfish the size of an engorged tuna. He emerged from the shadows and asked if I could spare any cottage cheese. I hate silverfish \u2014 I don\u2019t think they\u2019re fish at all \u2014 and I put a lickin\u2019 on him. For a third generation Floridian, it\u2019s a typical morning: Throw a bagel in the toaster, start the coffee and do battle with the arthropods. It\u2019s a way of life, and many a song have chronicled these great crusades. I\u2019ve never lived in any other states, but I don\u2019t think there\u2019s anywhere else where bugs are as par for the course. So accepted, not fashionably, but just as something we have to put up with. There\u2019s your Uncle Eddy, and the cockroach. You invite both to Christmas, and you endure the bad jokes and how they creep up on you in the middle of the night when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-46","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nutshellcity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}