“You’re going to be a newscaster!” I blurted out, beaming with pride. I had just been told something that will warm the heart of any former journalist: My daughter had earned a spot on her elementary school’s crack morning news crew.
She gave me the kind of 10-year-old look that screams: “Why do I tell you ANYTHING?”
But I just can’t help it. It’s so exciting!
I’ve never actually seen the show. I think it comes on for morning announcements and is broadcasted to TV sets in the classrooms throughout her school. There’s an anchor and a camerakid and cue cards and the whole lot. I picture a “60 Minutes” format with exposés on why the hand-dryers in the bathroom don’t dry your hands quicker. Or maybe tough interviews with the physical ed teacher about why Medieval torture techniques like sit-ups are still being inflicted on children.
“Now, in our research, we found a child in Nebraska who snapped in half while doing these archaic exercises. How do you respond to this?”
I’m told this isn’t exactly how it works. Mostly it’s segments on happenings around campus, what’s in the lost and found — “Somebody lost their shirt. So if you’re currently sitting there without a shirt, it could be yours” — and words of wisdom. Hey, that’s cool, too.
The kid is on TV!
She got to be on the “air” already the other day. My wife got to see it because she was their proctoring an exam. Poor kid had been sick all weekend — hacking and coughing and sneezing up a storm. But like a real news pro — “never let ‘em see you wheeze!” — she soldiered through it without a single sniffle. (Journalists are so passionate about their profession that they will literally snap in half while trying to stifle a sneeze. It’s a serious job! Just like professional sit-up athletes.)
I don’t know if she’ll go on to become a professional journalist because of this. She has lots of career goals — direct a movie, become a vet, own a dog hotel, sponge off of me for the rest of her life, win the lottery so her dear old dad can play backgammon and drink gin and tonics all day. But for a guy who used to cover the news, and who still teaches young journalists how to make it in the profession, it is such an exciting feeling thinking of the kid following in my footsteps … even if for a little while. Even if only on closed circuit TV.
A newscaster!
Now, if only I can get her to pitch the idea for that sit-ups story.