You need a break. Between all of the stories on Senate confirmation hearings, immigration bans, street protests, political squabbles and whether President Trump owns bath robes (seriously folks, this was a topic of conversation!), you just need to know there’s something else happening in the world that isn’t fused with politics.
It’s overload, no matter what side you’re on. The new presidency has managed to suck all the oxygen out of the air. And we need a break, America!
So I’m here to bring you some of the OTHER news you may have missed. Maybe it will brighten your day, give you a new perspective on life or help catch you up on some of the most important information you’re not getting:
• A new coffee shop has opened in Brooklyn, NY, serving the country’s most expensive cup of coffee. Price? $18. The actual cost of the cup of coffee isn’t that much. Rather, what you’re paying for is the chance to hang around with a bunch of Brooklyn hipsters willing to shell out major bucks to drink something that tastes like tar no matter how expensive it is.
• A Cheeto cheese puff that appeared to resemble the poor gorilla Harambe (shot in the Cincinnati Zoo last year when a child jumped into his enclosure) received a bid for almost $100,000 on eBay. Many have speculated that this is a sign that the world is about to annihilated by a giant, killer asteroid.
• The giant, killer asteroid BS32 narrowly missed the Earth earlier this month when the bus-sized chunk of whatever asteroids are whizzed between our planet and the moon. The collision was averted thanks to a wrong turn near Pluto, where the asteroid stopped for a ridiculously expensive cup of coffee. It also proves that cheese puff prophesies in the modern era are not as accurate as they were in the days of the dinosaur, when stuff really came true.
• A Virginia brewery has created a new beer that was aged with hundreds of pounds of Oreos. It’s the world’s first beer that must be consumed with a glass of milk.
• Nearly half of Americans believe that their personal information is more vulnerable than it was five years ago, according to a new study by the Pew Research Center. And yet, only two Americans have ever changed their online passwords from their dog’s four-letter name. Come on, at least make it something more challenging and secure, like your cat’s five-letter name.
About two-thirds of survey respondents said they use memorization to keep track of passwords, and 18 percent rely on writing them down on a piece of paper, which they promptly lose on their desk. Those who memorize their passwords are the most likely to forget their password is named after their dog.
And not that it matters. If they get hacked, they won’t have any money to steal once they start drinking $18 cups of coffee in Brooklyn.