Can somebody please tell me what to do with my time now that the tropics have quieted down and I don’t need to spend every waking hour freaking out about potential hurricanes?
And yes, I know: Hurricane season isn’t over. I shouldn’t jinx it. I should stay vigilant and aware and ready because you never know when a tropical bugger spins up in the Gulf and runs us over like a soggy dump truck. I get that. I still have my guard up. Even while I’m watching the clock and counting down the days until we’re free of hurricane season.
But it certainly has grown quiet in the tropics. Or quieter. Not what it was just a couple of weeks ago, when it seemed any slight sneeze off the coast of Africa would turn into a Category 4 monster raging out in the open Atlantic.
I had gone hurricane insane. Tropical OCD. It was all I thought about, constantly checking the National Hurricane Center. Checking crazy hurricane tracking sites. The kind where people go because they think staring endlessly at the same hurricane tracking charts will uncover some kind of hidden information or even supernatural message.
“OMG. If you stare at all the prediction models and squint your eyes, it spells out, ‘hold on to your butts!!!’”
That’s what I was doing. Getting into more and more obscure maps and charts and forecasts and things I don’t even know how to pronounce. A “scatterometer?” Can someone please tell me what that is … and where I can get one on the cheap?
(When you start going on eBay to see if you can find a scatterometer, you might need to seek counseling.)
It was all I was thinking about. And weird as it sounds, now I kind of miss my hurricane freak-out sessions. That constant state of alert, especially after Hurricane Dorian missed us. Buying random things on Amazon.com that might come in handy: a charging station that can run electrical devices or my plan to develop a hurricane prediction model that would be based on tested methodologies that meteorologists don’t bother considering.
For instance, if I have recently done any exterior work on my house or spent money on upgrading plants in my yard, the chance of a hurricane striking the area increases by 22 percent. Why isn’t the Hurricane Center considering variables like these?
Things have calmed down in the tropics and I’m not entirely sure what to do with all the time I had spent on my hurricane fixation. Do I transfer all of this pent-up energy into a hobby? Like maybe the unheralded study of why car batteries die on us at the most inopportune times. For instance, on my wife while she was waiting in the car line to pickup my daughter at school. The Sheriff’s deputy had to jump start the car. Come on universe, do you think things like this are funny?!?
Maybe that would be a better use of my time. And help more people. Especially if the rest of the season stays quiet, and I can’t figure out this whole hurricane prediction thing based on yard expenditures.