The neurotic summer trip planner gets back to work

It’s been too long. Far too long. Too long since taking a really big trip. A test-your-mettle and get you out of your comfort zone trip. A trip that doesn’t involve just a car or a state you’ve already been to. A trip that makes you lay awake at night wondering, “What made me think a camel safari was a good idea?!?”

I want a big trip. Like an overseas trip. And with summer starting to loom, and the prospect of the world opening up after the long pandemic, I’m getting back into planning mode. Loading up on travel books for various locales. Tracking airline prices. Testing out ideas and themes on the family. (“So, is anyone allergic to camel hair … or their spit?”) Generally getting my OCD travel bug out of the closet and back into action.

It occurred to me recently that the last time we went on a really big trip was in 2019. In COVID time, that was like 15 years ago. We went to London and then drove a car around Ireland in a semi-successful attempt to not make hood ornaments out of sheep. Or drive off a coastal cliff that landed us in Boston. We were only attacked and swallowed by a hedgerow once.

That long-ago trip was supposed to be the start of some much bigger adventures with our daughter. She was getting to an age when traveling farther, and more exotically (meaning places that didn’t just serve chicken nuggets), was easier and more enjoyable. Plus, the ticking of time meant there were only a finite number of summers left to take these family jaunts in.

Then … the pandemic set in. The world stalled out. Summers meant road trips to the mountains or generally within a familiar time zone. Nothing wrong with that, and certainly always enjoyable. But just not what I had envisioned we would be doing.

Now, this summer I’m thinking big again. With only two more years of high school (and if my math is correct, I think that’s like only five more summers before college), I want to get back on track and take a journey. To a far-off land. Someplace that will be an adventure and test us. Show us new places, new cultures, new sights and new ways of living. Somewhere like … Cleveland!

Or how about Europe? I think they’re opening back up. There’s pasta to be had in Italy. Or the beauty and the wonders (not to mention the always-healthy croissants) of Paris. There’s art and canals and Red Light Districts in Amsterdam. Wait, what light?!?

Anyway, that’s where my head is these days. Exploring it all. The costs. (Ouch! These ain’t mountain prices.) The flights. (Ooomph! Do they have any roadside stops in the Atlantic?) The places to stay and things to do. How to get from here to there. What to eat. How to fit three family members in a European hotel room the size of a shoebox. How to not accidentally book a room in a Red Light District.    

Then there are language barriers. I agonize over these. Maybe it’s because I still haven’t mastered English. Going abroad to butcher someone else’s native tongue seems like punishment I shouldn’t dish out. Take French, for instance. It’s actually quite a beautiful language to listen to. But it also sounds like a bunch of pre-schoolers who have made up their own gibberish language on the playground. I hear people say words, and I can’t make out the consonants or the vowels or the … wait, is there something in English called “syllables?” What are those?

Or Amsterdam. It would be great to see the Van Gogh Museum. The Anne Frank House. The Rijksmuseum. But while I’ve heard the Dutch speak English pretty fluently, who is going to help me with the street names?!? I’ve lived in the same house for the last 25 years, and there are streets three blocks over I still don’t know how to say.

I looked at a map of Amsterdam and within a couple of blocks I came across these four names: Sint Janstraat, Leidekkerssteeg, Gooijersteeg and Blaauwlakensteeg. That was just four streets. The entire map was FULL of names like this!!! How am I going to find Gooijersteeg if I can’t even figure how to position my tongue to even begin that tongue-twister? And what is a “steeg?”

It puts the stomach of a worrier like me into knots. An over-planner. One who devours guidebooks, endlessly trolls through Web sites and develops elaborate spreadsheets that cover everything from monitoring prices to converting time zones to tracking individuals who I can call to explain the pronunciation for, “Gooijersteeg.”

At the same time, it’s what makes travel such an adventure. So much fun. Trying something new and getting out of your comfort zone. Trading the easy and the familiar for the unexpected and the challenging.

It’s the thrill of it.

The more I think about it, the more excited I’m getting. To go on another really big trip. One that might break the bank, get me lost and twist my tongue into an international pretzel. But with summers running out, it feels like the right time to get back out there. But maybe we’ll hold on the camel safari for now. A little too much spitting for the likes of us.

You may also like