My wife came around the corner of the house carrying two chickens, one under each arm. They were backwards — tail feathers out for all to see. Hen heinies saluting the world.
Let’s face it, you look ridiculous walking around with chickens under your arms. Like you’re carrying basketballs. And it’s worse when their hindquarters do all the greeting.
It must have been a sight to see downtown. And she didn’t expect anyone to see it.
Which is why the mailman walking up was such a surprise.
“I must have looked like a crazy person,” she said. She expected a strange look. Maybe a question: “Mam, you do realize there are fowl growing out of your armpits?”
But nothing. The mailman just walked up to her, said “hello” and handed over the mail. Then he walked off.
Strange, she thought. Until he stopped suddenly, turned around and said, “Excuse me. Can I ask you a question?”
Here it comes, she thought.
He said to her: “Do you know what time the parade starts this weekend?”
My wife was dumfounded. “I mean, what does this guy see on his route that a woman carrying two chicken butts doesn’t faze him?”
But it’s St. Augustine! He’s seen it all. Because nothing is really unexpected here. Nothing is too far out. People shop for groceries in period dress. Others walk around bare-chested in neon green running shorts. There is more quirkiness per square mile than most psychiatric hospitals. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. We’re all just a little bit different, and that’s what makes the place interesting, unique — a treasure. It’s part of why we live here, right?
St. Augustine has been getting recognized for all manner of things recently. Just the other day I read that Rachael Ray magazine named our Christmas lights one of the nation’s “twinkliest.” We’ve also been prettiest. Most romantic. Most historic. Most likely to take the whole pirate thing too seriously and start plundering nearby shipping lanes.
But what about most unique? Most quirky? Most likely to make people say, “What in the heck are they putting in the water there?”
That’s the one I want us to win. It would be a badge of honor. In a world of big box stores and towns that look like they’ve been cookie cut from the same cloth, St. Augustine is an original. And not just for its architecture and history. But because of it’s people! We’re overrun with fascinating folks you won’t find anywhere else. And I love that.
So wear it with pride, St. Augustine. Keep being unique. Keep being original. Keep doing those quirky, outlandish things. That way a mailman will never do a double-take when greeted by a woman carrying to chicken butts. My wife would appreciate that.