End-of-summer trip envy

America has never been more divided. We are split in two — torn apart by a division so profound that it threatens our very being. Which camp do you fall into? Those who still have summer vacations ahead of them, or those who have already taken them?

Talk about polarization.

It is a bitter, angry camp for those who have already taken them. I know this from personal experience. I’m one of the envious souls, coveting everyone’s vacation plans as my own suddenly feel a million miles in the rearview mirror.

I don’t care where it is. Someone could tell me they’re going to Hackitup, Idaho, and my jaw drops. They could be going there to study pig slop or how potato fungus plans to vote in the presidential election.

“Really?!?” I say. “It sounds so wonderful! Is there going to be a pool with a slide? Do they have a Starbucks in the hotel lobby? Are you going to get pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse!?!”

I inquire more. I hang on every word. Oh, these darn First World problems!

My brother’s dog is coming over for an extended stay because he and his family are about to take their trip. He watched our dog when we went away, so I feel I owe it to him to be more conciliatory or grateful. More excited. But I’m not. I’m mad as all-get-out. I’ve thought about putting a nail in his tire. When your summer traveling is all spent up, you become cantankerous and curmudgeon-y.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s going to be wonderful and amazing and your kid is going to sleep in a sleeping bag. Good for you. But your dog better not poop on my sofa!”

I wag my finger a lot.

Look at what summer trip envy has done to me!

We’ve always had a rule in my family that you start planning your next trip before the old one ends. It staves off post-travel depression. That way you’re not focused on what’s about to end, but what’s coming down the road. I think we forgot to do that this year. We were too hung up in the excitement of the mountains of Colorado. Taking in the fresh air and enjoying every second we had.

Why think about what’s next when you have so much to see right then?

But “seizing the day” never took into account summer trip envy. I’m sure whoever first thought that line up came to regret it later. Probably right after returning from a trip to find nothing but real life staring him in the face. And a chipper brother dropping off a dog and instructions on feeding her before some glorious adventure. YIPPEE for you!

So I guess I’ll just try to keep his dog off my sofa while trying to remember my own trips. And I’ll fight this blasted divisiveness that has me wanting to put a nail in his tire.

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