Goal: New morning fitness regime
Action Plan: Wake up at 5 a.m. everyday, do some pushups and then go for a run when it’s still cool outside and my polyester running shorts are less likely to spontaneously combust. (That sure is getting expensive!)
Day 1
5:00 – Alarm goes off. Check to see if it is phone or fire alarm. It’s phone … hello snooze button! Lay head back down for just a minute …
7:42 – Wo! Going to be late to work … start New Morning Fitness Regime tomorrow.
Day 2 (Note: Started taking care of brother’s dog today while he is on vacation. Good timing.)
5:00 – Alarm goes off. Wait a minute … that’s not an alarm. That’s some … stinky, hot dog breath … IN MY FACE! “OH MY GOSH ELLA! You shouldn’t be in here. Why are you standing on the bed? Wait a minute … it’s only 4:33! Get out!” Lay head back down for just a minute …
Real 5:00 – Alarm goes off. Check to see if it is phone or fire alarm. It’s phone … hello snooze but– … “OH MY GOSH, ELLA! WHY ARE YOU BACK IN HERE!?! GET OFF THE BED!!!” … start New Morning Fitness Regime tomorrow.
Day 3
5:00 – Alarm goes off. Check to see if it is phone or fire alarm. It’s phone … hello snooze … Dangit! Last-night-fitness-Brian disabled it. At least no dog. OK, get up, get dressed, drink a glass of water, go to bathroom, floss teeth (running and gingivitis do not go together) and then … TRIP OVER DOG OUTSIDE BEDROOM DOOR! “OH MY GOSH, ELLA. WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING RIGHT THERE?!?” Possible sprained ankle, but don’t think the cut on forehead from hitting the wall will require stitches. Dog appears fine, aside from stinky, hot dog breath. What does she eat?!? Get ice for ankle … start New Morning Fitness Regime tomorrow.
Day 4
5:00 – Alarm goes off. Check to see if it is phone or fire alarm. It’s phone … forget snooze … nighttime-Brian is too smart for us. Get dressed, forget water, bladder can wait, to heck with gingivitis, slowly … open … door … and … TIP-TOE … over … big … sleeping … dog. That’s odd … no dog. Maybe she’s getting into a routine. Or maybe she’s … SLEEPING AT THE HEAD OF THE STAIRS!!!! Tumble, tumble, tumble. Quick body check: Elbow definitely dislocated, some kind of bone sticking out of leg, can only see out of left eye, world now appears to be purple. And smells like stinky, hot dog breath!!! “OH MY GOSH ELLA, GET OUT OF MY FACE SO I CAN DIE WITH DIGNITY!!!” … start New Morning Fitness Regime tomorrow.
Day 5
5:00 – Alarm goes off. Can’t reach it with my arm in the sling and the IV bag stand in the way. Only good thing is nighttime-fitness-Brian couldn’t disable the snooze button. So, I’ll just lay here in peace and listen to the alarm and think about my lucky … “OH MY GOSH, ELLA! HOW DID YOU GET BACK IN HERE?!? I THOUGHT WE GAVE YOU TO THE HUMANE SOCIETY? GET OFF THE BED!!!” … start New Morning Fitness Regime next year … or maybe not at all. I can afford to replace those spontaneously-combusting running shorts.