Oh man! We went almost two years without anyone in my house getting COVID – two years! – and then: BLAMMO! My wife got it.
The night before my daughter got back from her snowed-in ski trip, my wife was making sweet potato chili and asked the most peculiar thing: “Isn’t chili supposed to smell strong?”
Uh-oh!
Um, yeah. That’s why they call it chili. It’s spicy. Like curl-the-hair-on-your-head spicy. Clear-out-your-sinuses spicy. So … what you’re saying is … ?
She proceeded to run about the house trying to smell everything – alcohol, vinegar, harsh cleaning products, bourbon. All to no avail.
The next morning, we each took a COVID test. Remarkably – and someone would even say wildly unfair – the responsible, safe person in the house came back positive. The one who needs to be told not to eat things off the floor and to wash his hands regularly was negative.
Two years and BLAMMO!
Lucky for her, it was only a mild case with some heavy sneezing and light coughing. She isolated in our bedroom while I slept in the loft of our front room, and then she was mostly back to normal in a couple days, minus the ability to taste or smell. Throughout it all, my daughter and I never got it. But a brush with COVID will teach you a lot of things about yourself and your family. Here are my top 5 takeaways:
1. Sleeping in a loft on a fold-out IKEA sofa with your feet sticking over the edge is a lot like re-living your college days. And I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. You can’t sleep in a loft without reverting to some very bad habits from your past. I would sleep in and hit the snooze button 57 times … until it was 2 in the afternoon. I would lie there and think stuff like: “I don’t wanna’ go to class. I didn’t study for my psychology exam. Why didn’t I buy more nacho chips at the store?” I started to grow a beard. I texted people strange things like: “Yo man, just chillin’ in the loft and drinkin’ warm beer. Wanna’ hang?” I was perfectly fine wearing the same clothes over and over again, even if there was a ketchup stain on the shirt and my pants were starting to feel like plywood. I would lose all sense of time, value of money, that I have a job where I go and make money, or that my daughter was desperately late for school. Wait! I have a daughter?!? Truth be told, that much time in a loft actually starts to grow on you. Next thing I knew, I was wondering what it would cost to buy a VW bus and travel around the country with a huge load of nacho chips.
2. COVID makes no sense. Because the most irresponsible and least cautious person didn’t get it: ME! And that’s not fair. My wife wears KN95 masks, reads articles about how to avoid COVID and takes tons of precautions, especially since she is a teacher and wants to keep her family and students safe. I literally am a posterchild for what not to do when you’re sick, worried about getting sick, maimed, infected or impaled on something with several varieties of tetanus. It just goes to show the universe isn’t kind, and teaches knuckleheads like me the wrong lessons.
3. Losing taste and smell will really freak a person out. Especially someone who values that sense of smell. It wouldn’t matter to me. I have such bad allergies, sinus congestion and a chronic stuffed-up nose that I’m not sure I’ve EVER been able to smell. I’ve only been able to breathe out of my nose twice, and once was because I got a giant gumball stuck in my mouth and it forced open my nasal passageways. But my wife has the nose of a bloodhound, and she appreciates that sense.
4. You take for granted how much stuff around the house your wife does. I realized this and started to appreciate it right when I figured out I was going to be the one doing it all for the next week. And most of which, I didn’t know a thing about. Like: When did we get a washer and dryer? And what do all the buttons do? And why wouldn’t I have learned how to use such a novel and necessary appliance before? Wives and moms never get credit for all the things they do, and how much they’re responsible for holding the family together. My daughter and I were practically feral that week. And BUSY!!!
5. You’ll be so grateful when it’s over, especially if it’s a mild case. I’ll appreciate my health more now, and what it means to be together as a family. That there isn’t much in the world more important than that: Being together. Being healthy and safe. Appreciating what everyone does and taking care of each other. Plus, how close we will be when I get that VW bus loaded with nacho chips and we go exploring the country. I wonder if I can fit the IKEA sofa bed in there?